Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

JohnzSexyMamas11

Search for a member

JohnzSexyMamas11

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1202
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About JohnzSexyMamas11 : Im A Pretty Laid Back Chick .. iLove Shopping & Texting & Messaging & iLove Reading Books That Make Me Laugh So Much That iCry .. iLove My Lil Puppy She Is A Pain Though .. iLove Haters & iLove Dinosaurs & Hello Kitty .. iWatch Tv Alot Cause iDont Go To School iAm Home Schooled & iLike Walking Around My Houses .. iCan Be An Outrageous Girl .. iDont Care Who You Are Ill Say What iWant If You Dont Like It Then You Know Where The Door Is :) .. iLove Neon Colors & Pink & Red & Black & Grey & Purple & White .. iLove Rock, Country, Hip Hop, Well All Kinds Except Jazz & Blues .. iHave Lots Of Blonde Moments Lmao .. iLove Zebra Print & Leopard Print .. iLove Drawing & Writing Letter .. If You Wanna Know Anything Else Just Ask

JohnzSexyMamas11's page activity

Visits<b>Caps_hockey</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 6:22pm<b>YNWA</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 3:22am<b>Adman567</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 3:21am<b>Andromeda13</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 8:21pm<b>moksha</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 9:12pm<b>megpie20693</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 3:27pm<b>taxlor</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 3:53pm<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 6:23pm<b>UnvalidMistakes</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 10:29pm<b>army_of_misfits</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 9:08pm<b>seniorchang</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 1:07am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 9:22am<b>waffule365</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 7:14pm<b>sanchitgoyal</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 8:42am<b>watchme</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 6:45pm<b>DirkTheDiggler</b> - the 04/19/2013 at 10:36pm<b>carry_on</b> - the 04/19/2013 at 12:05pm<b>neilykins</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 10:16am

JohnzSexyMamas11's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of JohnzSexyMamas11's badges

JohnzSexyMamas11's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a job babysitting two really sweet kids. When their parents left, they told me that their cat had died. I told them how sorry I was, to which one of them replied, "That's okay. We still have him in a box. Wanna see?" FML

#20123166
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19885) - you deserved it (1744)

On 10/18/2012 at 9:57pm - kids - by Jessica - United States

Today, I woke up and found a little note where my husband should have been. It said, "We've had some good times, hun, but it's time for me to move on." We've been married for 15 years, and have 3 children. FML

#20121146
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40700) - you deserved it (2138)

On 10/17/2012 at 4:16pm - love - by AbandonedHouseWife - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend told me that the main reason he was dating me was because he was intimidated by pretty girls. FML

#20097040
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23740) - you deserved it (1883)

On 10/01/2012 at 5:09pm - love - by Lisa - United States (New York)

Today, my husband of five years left me for a woman ten years older than himself who lives nine hours away. He met her online two weeks ago while playing Call of Duty. FML

#20091576
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29148) - you deserved it (2227)

On 09/27/2012 at 10:14pm - love - by strawberrywine22 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that, for over three years, my boyfriend has solely been dating me to get closer to my mom. Apparently, "she's a total MILF." FML

#20077204
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24054) - you deserved it (1901)

On 09/18/2012 at 12:25am - love - by daughter (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelt my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML

#20009342
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5814) - you deserved it (43806)

On 08/08/2012 at 10:00am - misc - by FutureMarine3658 - United States (Utah)

Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML

#20001841
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18022) - you deserved it (5141)

On 08/04/2012 at 5:33am - health - by MAC. - Canada (Ontario)

Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML

#19902817
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10414) - you deserved it (24172)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by totallyembarassed - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I came out of the closet. I came out on Facebook to spare myself awkward conversations and gossip. I wrote a deeply meaningful status about my partner and my pride in who I was. The only responses were, "Lol", "Hacked", and similar remarks. FML

#19719368
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28225) - you deserved it (11533)

On 06/02/2012 at 2:50am - misc - by OutOfTheCloset - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw my 22-year-old boyfriend blow his nose into his hand, then wipe his snot on our couch. There was a box of tissues directly in front of him. FML

#19374256
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22283) - you deserved it (3025)

On 03/30/2012 at 1:37am - misc - by rozziepop - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML

#19275580
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25553) - you deserved it (12557)

On 03/14/2012 at 1:18am - love - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I forgot to grab toilet paper on the way home from work. Since I don't have a car and all of my friends have plans for Valentine's Day I'm now down to wiping with cotton balls. FML

#19079186
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17821) - you deserved it (7423)

On 02/14/2012 at 8:26pm - health - by no tp (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML

#19039141
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30946) - you deserved it (6434)

On 02/10/2012 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42020) - you deserved it (9125)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML

#18981474
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15162) - you deserved it (21828)

On 02/03/2012 at 12:25am - misc - by coleslaw (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: