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JohnzSexyMamas11

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JohnzSexyMamas11

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1698
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About JohnzSexyMamas11 : Im A Pretty Laid Back Chick .. iLove Shopping & Texting & Messaging & iLove Reading Books That Make Me Laugh So Much That iCry .. iLove My Lil Puppy She Is A Pain Though .. iLove Haters & iLove Dinosaurs & Hello Kitty .. iWatch Tv Alot Cause iDont Go To School iAm Home Schooled & iLike Walking Around My Houses .. iCan Be An Outrageous Girl .. iDont Care Who You Are Ill Say What iWant If You Dont Like It Then You Know Where The Door Is :) .. iLove Neon Colors & Pink & Red & Black & Grey & Purple & White .. iLove Rock, Country, Hip Hop, Well All Kinds Except Jazz & Blues .. iHave Lots Of Blonde Moments Lmao .. iLove Zebra Print & Leopard Print .. iLove Drawing & Writing Letter .. If You Wanna Know Anything Else Just Ask

JohnzSexyMamas11's page activity

Visits<b>Adman567</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 8:09am<b>Caps_hockey</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 6:22pm<b>YNWA</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 3:22am<b>Andromeda13</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 8:21pm<b>moksha</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 9:12pm<b>megpie20693</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 3:27pm<b>taxlor</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 3:53pm<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 6:23pm<b>UnvalidMistakes</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 10:29pm<b>army_of_misfits</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 9:08pm<b>seniorchang</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 1:07am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 9:22am<b>waffule365</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 7:14pm<b>sanchitgoyal</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 8:42am<b>watchme</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 6:45pm<b>DirkTheDiggler</b> - the 04/19/2013 at 10:36pm<b>carry_on</b> - the 04/19/2013 at 12:05pm<b>neilykins</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 10:16am

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JohnzSexyMamas11's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

#20170839
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10109) - you deserved it (28877)

On 11/20/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Brian (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

#20170605
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13373) - you deserved it (31589)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

#20169668
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27600) - you deserved it (5294)

On 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was grocery shopping. When I turned around I noticed a group of teens passing by laughing. I didn't think anything of it until I got to my cart. The losers had left a pack of Slim Fast in my cart. I'm pregnant. FML

#20167758
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28242) - you deserved it (1981)

On 11/18/2012 at 6:00am - health - by depressedpreggo (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML

#20165918
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31194) - you deserved it (2456)

On 11/16/2012 at 9:00pm - love - by akiza (woman) - Japan

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

#20165510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34351) - you deserved it (3499)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

#20161591
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25007) - you deserved it (2505)

On 11/13/2012 at 7:02am - love - by Med (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML

#20159898
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19253) - you deserved it (1570)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:25am - health - by KtSue - United States

Today, I finally met the girl I've been talking to on phone for a while and found her charming in person as well. There's just one problem: she has more facial hair than I do. FML

#20159578
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18522) - you deserved it (5792)

On 11/11/2012 at 9:16pm - love - by x (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was renovating the house, and my girlfriend asked, "Do you use electrical tape on electrical stuff?" Not knowing where she was going with this, I just gave her a puzzled look. She continued by saying, "Because it's not like people use duct tape on ducks." FML

#20158312
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21076) - you deserved it (2902)

On 11/11/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Danny - United States (Utah)

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML

#20155904
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40084) - you deserved it (1828)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:18am - love - by SebastianMiko (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to buy a new vacuum cleaner. My previous one stopped working, because apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to suck up our puppy's shit from the floor. FML

#20155036
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21319) - you deserved it (2066)

On 11/08/2012 at 2:03pm - love - by 99Problemsandfml - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML

#20131351
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16977) - you deserved it (45587)

On 10/24/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend tried to wake me with a handjob. Because I'm a very light sleeper, I woke straight away and instinctively punched whoever was touching my dick. She forgave me, but I don't think her father ever will once he finds out. FML

#20125284
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20700) - you deserved it (4723)

On 10/20/2012 at 1:29pm - love - by nahalDZ - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)



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