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About Johnnyboyxo : Im sorry for stealing your name. Dont hurt me plz :)
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I learned to never shave your downstairs when you have the hiccups. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14007) - you deserved it (17801)
On 08/29/2010 at 1:02am - health - by yggiz (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8747) - you deserved it (17378)
On 08/29/2010 at 12:54am - animals - by Hobbsie - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33331) - you deserved it (9129)
On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4894) - you deserved it (30346)
On 08/14/2010 at 2:27am - health - by Fire_Crotch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I discovered that my abusive, obsessive, psychotic ex-boyfriend from over two years ago still has a thing for me. How did I find out? Although I've ignored him walking unnecessarily past my house for the past two months, it was hard to ignore when he fell from a tree outside my window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26193) - you deserved it (1644)
On 02/27/2010 at 11:30pm - love - by sacrophage (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to the park with my friend and we decided to swing. While we were swinging, we decided to jump off backwards. All would have worked out fine if my pants hadn't gotten caught on the metal of the swing, leaving my bare butt exposed. The man who was in the park with his daughter left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4783) - you deserved it (12027)
On 02/26/2010 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was with my friend and her entire family at a restaurant. While we were eating, her brother who is really cute asked what "brown sauce" is. I said thats probably 'penis' sauce. I'd meant to say 'peanut sauce' but the damage was done. The entire family just stared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7926) - you deserved it (12755)
On 02/26/2010 at 4:10am - misc - by princess4242 (woman) - India (Delhi)
Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14751) - you deserved it (4349)
On 02/26/2010 at 4:09am - misc - by ilovecowboys (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I found out a guy I had a thing with a while back thinks I am obsessed with him. This is because when he said that we should be friends, I stupidly thought he was being sincere and bothered to call him all of three times in the last five months. Clearly a sign of obsession. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17868) - you deserved it (2205)
On 02/25/2010 at 4:37am - love - by loling (woman) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)
Today, while waiting to do a presentation in class I felt someone flick my back, but when I turned around no one was there. It wasn't until I got up in front of the whole class that I felt my bra slowly sliding down my body. Turns out that the "flick" I felt was actually my bra clasp busting open. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17990) - you deserved it (1901)
On 02/25/2010 at 2:05am - misc - by thewordsicantsay (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was brushing my teeth when I felt a lump of something in the corner of my mouth. Naturally assuming it would be a bit of food that my toothbrush had dislodged, I spat it out into the sink. It was a woodlouse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20987) - you deserved it (1944)
On 02/24/2010 at 7:58am - misc - by puzzled (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, I was awakened, in the middle of the night, by the sound of crying coming from outside. There's a mile in between houses where I live. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19602) - you deserved it (1394)
On 02/22/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by holycow (man) - United States (California)
Today, while eating at an outdoor café, a man on the street came up to me and said, "My girlfriend is sexier than you, bitch." Thanks for the confidence boost. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20036) - you deserved it (1596)
On 02/22/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by sandiego - United States (Texas)
Today, while I was at my girlfriend's house, I picked up her cat and held him like he was baby Simba. Apparently he didn't enjoy that, because he managed to somehow leap out of my hands and attach himself to my chest, claws extended. I now have four one-inch-long gashes on my chest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4864) - you deserved it (17502)
On 02/21/2010 at 10:14pm - animals - by Rafiki (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my best friend had set me up on a blind date. The guy demonstrated at length that he could do different cartoon voices such as Donald Duck, Droopy and many others the entire time. Oh, and he also kept wanting to talk about his farts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17155) - you deserved it (2046)
On 02/21/2010 at 9:12pm - love - by Court - United States (Ohio)
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