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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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JohnnyS

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JohnnyS
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 628
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About JohnnyS : I'm a nobody. It's the easiest thing to remember, so remember it.

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JohnnyS's favorite FMLs

Today, I was DJ'ing a wedding. The groom wanted a song played for his grandma and grandpa. I announce over the microphone for his grandparents to come to the dance floor for a special song. Turns out his grandparents have been dead for over a year and the song was supposed to be in dedication. FML

#116388 (38)

I agree, your life sucks (39010) - you deserved it (7321)

On 02/23/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by holladaddy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I celebrated my birthday with my friend who has the same birthday by going out to dinner with a bunch of our friends. The waiter brought out a cake for my friend but not for me. No one noticed my exclusion. I sang happy birthday on my birthday. FML

#109688 (57)

I agree, your life sucks (44329) - you deserved it (2300)

On 02/22/2009 at 11:05pm - misc - by jet8725 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

#99885 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (52061) - you deserved it (5011)

On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by Nails (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML

#97729 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (77715) - you deserved it (5229)

On 02/21/2009 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML

#97632 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (163430) - you deserved it (32439)

On 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by GD (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I called my girlfriend and she answered telling me how amazing the sex was last night and she can't wait to see me later. I didn't see her last night. FML

#90751 (49)

I agree, your life sucks (78535) - you deserved it (3147)

On 02/20/2009 at 6:42pm - intimacy - by screewit (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was doing a strip tease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML

#84789 (63)

I agree, your life sucks (72659) - you deserved it (13853)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my father came back from a business trip in Canada. He handed me an "I Love Canada" pen. He brought back an xbox 360 for my younger brother. FML

#70401 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (51919) - you deserved it (2041)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:59pm - misc - by lalalee (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

#69472 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (86307) - you deserved it (7053)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsohappy (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I took a friend out for what I thought was date. After dinner was over and I paid, she pulled the bill out and wrote her name phone number on it for the waiter. FML

#51117 (28)

I agree, your life sucks (38267) - you deserved it (2186)

On 02/16/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was hooking up with a guy for the first time and he told me I was in luck. When I asked why he replied, "I like little boobs." FML

#47505 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (42074) - you deserved it (4618)

On 02/15/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by miapapaya (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I stood by the wall at a party while everyone else danced and ignored me. It was my birthday party. FML

#44996 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (45277) - you deserved it (7988)

On 02/15/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by Noname - United States

Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML

#4463 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (48692) - you deserved it (1793)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Jack - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went to see a movie with the girl I 've liked for months. After the commercials, she told me she had to go to the ladies room. She never came back. FML

#40 (53)

I agree, your life sucks (46537) - you deserved it (2781)

On 10/25/2008 at 12:56pm - love - by Lo -