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Jocy5477

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Jocy5477

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  • Number of visits : 1159
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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50 favourites

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Jocy5477's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my boyfriend of almost ten months who his top five women to have it off with would be. I was third. My mom was second. FML

#710815
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96935) - you deserved it (16022)

On 03/30/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by lucky (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was talking to my guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said "Well, you could always ask me." I then said "Do you want to go to prom with me?" His response was "Nope...now that's 8!" FML

#650429
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (139045) - you deserved it (25896)

On 03/27/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by rejected (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

#644123
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81734) - you deserved it (16162)

On 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by badmom (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

#615927
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15978) - you deserved it (70479)

On 03/26/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Alex (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML

#598465
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (146953) - you deserved it (11583)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:32pm - misc - by rusty2020 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

#597085
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36382) - you deserved it (81128)

On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

#532942
334 comments

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
875 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58662) - you deserved it (623698)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML

#446324
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99948) - you deserved it (24765)

On 03/18/2009 at 6:42pm - love - by Syferix (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML

#357552
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (212004) - you deserved it (35152)

On 03/15/2009 at 9:14pm - money - by twit (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

#287682
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (134550) - you deserved it (20211)

On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML

#265039
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (235795) - you deserved it (14791)

On 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by TuralSucks (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML

#234028
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94797) - you deserved it (18595)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Cody (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, at a hard rock concert, a bunch of guys accidentally knocked down a port-a-potty while moshing. I was inside that port-a-potty. FML

#231694
157 comments


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