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Jocy5477

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Jocy5477

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Jocy5477's favorite FMLs

Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML

#5315969
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38164) - you deserved it (9322)

On 09/17/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by sara (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be hot to get it on in the gym storage room at school. Apparently so did my Chemistry and Drama teachers. FML

#5131831
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24897) - you deserved it (6476)

On 09/08/2009 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by TRAMATIZED (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I fell asleep during naptime. I'm the teacher. FML

#5013667
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16977) - you deserved it (34236)

On 09/03/2009 at 1:05am - work - by yogabbagabba (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

#4679232
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83635) - you deserved it (7272)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by demk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

#4606159
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70096) - you deserved it (8172)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by ZSL (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working in the box office. A group came in for tickets but wanted to pay individually. One paid $40 for a $25 ticket. Laughing, I reached for the calculator while saying, "I went to public school, so I can't do math." They didn't laugh. They were all teachers in public schools. FML

#4379266
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13964) - you deserved it (49255)

On 08/08/2009 at 3:02am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I walked into my new maths class. I stepped inside only to be yelled at by the teacher for nearly 15 minutes. I was then told never to enter her class again and was sent to the principal. My identical twin brother was in her class the period before me. He also has a thing for older women. FML

#4329810
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58607) - you deserved it (2828)

On 08/06/2009 at 6:10am - misc - by slamo (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57163) - you deserved it (17194)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML

#3967657
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69357) - you deserved it (4236)

On 07/23/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Rory (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late for morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. FML

#3921342
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42772) - you deserved it (27755)

On 07/21/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by emperor (man) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)

Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML

#3866065
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27206) - you deserved it (59760)

On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

#3842566
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35114) - you deserved it (93690)

On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my cousin told me that the stop signs outlined with a white line were optional. Later, a cop pulled me over, when I asked why he said, "You ran that stop sign back there." I explained what my cousin had told me and he looked at me funny and replied, "All stop signs have a white outline." FML

#3593613
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11890) - you deserved it (100198)

On 07/08/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend returned from a 2 month internship in New York. As I saw him exit the plane, I imagined him running to me and kissing/spinning me around passionately like in movies. He got closer and closer, and as I opened my arms to embrace him, he runs past me saying, "BRB, I GOTTA TAKE A SHIT." FML

#3472091
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52033) - you deserved it (9428)

On 07/04/2009 at 2:07am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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