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Jocy5477

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Jocy5477

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Jocy5477's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a horrible stomach flu and was well into my second hour of dry heaving when I heard my husband knock on the bathroom door. I was touched that he was worried about me until I heard, "Honey, what did you make me for dinner?" FML

#15986605
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34923) - you deserved it (3583)

On 04/30/2011 at 2:27am - love - by greenintheface - United States (Michigan)

Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house. I froze in fear and then I heard it again. I thought I was hearing things until I realized that it wasn't an intruder in my home. The shifting noise was my thighs rubbing together when I walked. FML

#15974313
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14394) - you deserved it (35610)

On 04/29/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Celluloid (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

#15962479
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44316) - you deserved it (4760)

On 04/28/2011 at 11:53am - animals - by Cecilly2010 -

Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML

#15961473
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37075) - you deserved it (8876)

On 04/28/2011 at 9:16am - love - by nuttedthefout -

Today, while waiting on tables at work, I was carrying a glass of red wine when I lost balance and spilt it everywhere. After cleaning the floor and myself up and after refilling a new glass, I did exactly the same thing again. FML

#15958012
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18345) - you deserved it (25843)

On 04/28/2011 at 12:04am - work - by tryandtryagain (man) - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend's present to me was that he actually flushed the toilet AND put the seat down. FML

#15956322
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32445) - you deserved it (6153)

On 04/27/2011 at 10:41pm - love - by suckishbf (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my "friend" told me I was weird and irritating. Yet she has an unhealthy obsession with Harry Potter, hates people in general, and has a Facebook for her cat. Yeah, I'm the weird one. FML

#15931410
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33969) - you deserved it (7763)

On 04/26/2011 at 5:45am - animals - by weirdome23 (woman) - United States

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

#15328400
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36391) - you deserved it (5572)

On 03/15/2011 at 10:05pm - kids - by anonymous -

Today, my maths teacher was giving my whole class a lecture on 'if you don't pay attention at school, you will fail.' She then pointed out out a man working on the roof and said: 'if you don't listen, you will end up like that guy.' That was my dad. FML

#14596121
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44572) - you deserved it (2862)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:07am - misc - by paperbox (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got hit in the mouth with a hockey stick and lost four teeth. Yesterday I got my braces of six years removed. FML

#14036176
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70800) - you deserved it (4958)

On 11/30/2010 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, I went to use the public restroom. As I saw the toilet paper was out, I could see there was some hanging down from the other stall. As I went to grab it, I felt a hand grab mine and a voice ask seductively, "what were you reaching for?" FML

#13940137
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26652) - you deserved it (9059)

On 11/22/2010 at 7:18pm - misc - by reesemaster (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML

#13937694
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30228) - you deserved it (9860)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend to try and man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML

#13881563
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32738) - you deserved it (17117)

On 11/17/2010 at 9:32pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I tripped on a step that said "Watch your step." Two hours later, I hit my head on a sign that said "Mind your head." FML

#13823119
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27310) - you deserved it (13000)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

#13799884
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16055) - you deserved it (33519)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:30am - health - by sweet_stufz - Canada (Ontario)



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