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JocelynKaulitz

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JocelynKaulitz

14Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7127
  • Number of comments : 419
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Working customer service at Target for over a year has made me hate people.

Name's Jocelyn.

I feel more satisfied when my comments get thumbed down rather than thumbed up, it's different.

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>Zman2017</b> - yesterday at 9:39am<b>ncbeach22</b> - yesterday at 7:44am<b>mazdatuner09</b> - yesterday at 11:58pm<b>DaBayst</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 10:43pm<b>dustydick</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 1:59pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 1:39pm<b>Roaryah</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 11:55pm<b>Nadron</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 4:20pm<b>Phaeno</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 10:49pm<b>muslimpride</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:31pm<b>hippodankamus</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 7:24pm<b>WeChaseClouds</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 10:09pm<b>purpleturtle16</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 9:21am<b>Elgaard</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 4:06am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 11:55pm<b>totallybananas</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 10:27pm<b>Landesanity</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 4:44pm<b>imbetterthanyoo</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 3:23pm

Liked!<b>kyle8211</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 12:38am<b>cassiecassie559</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 1:23am<b>mrchubbz13</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 4:49pm<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 3:52pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 7:11am<b>crockracks</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 4:48pm<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 3:33am<b>Birdbath123</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 11:51am<b>xcarlito615x</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 5:53pm<b>Thenextguyover</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 12:12pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 11:11am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:48pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 4:23pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 9:04pm

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

#20975509
100 comments

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

#20970485
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41850) - you deserved it (5198)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59530) - you deserved it (4303)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, I had to explain to my pregnant friend that her plan to get drunk and get a tattoo needed to wait at least 8 months. She then went out for a smoke to calm down. FML

#20966742
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49722) - you deserved it (3756)

On 11/22/2013 at 9:49am - health - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I sent a group text round to my friends asking if they wanted to hang out sometime. One of my friends thought this was aimed directly at her and confessed her love for me. FML

#20966629
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41759) - you deserved it (7518)

On 11/22/2013 at 5:18am - love - by awkwardpaul - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I forgot I left my tampons in a grocery bag packed with food that I put into the fridge. I realized two hours later while frantically looking for a tampon. I'm still cold down there. FML

#20966555
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39454) - you deserved it (11546)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:53am - misc - by InsertPopcicle (woman) - United States

Today, my neighbor finally password-protected his wifi. Right in the middle of my timed, online exam. FML

#20965985
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27083) - you deserved it (85238)

On 11/21/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep at my bus stop following a long day at work. I woke up to a homeless man giggling after he had clipped dozens of clothespins to my clothes, shoes, and hair in my sleep. FML

#20964867
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35973) - you deserved it (7186)

On 11/20/2013 at 7:12pm - misc - by 43_clothespins_later (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

#20961988
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42964) - you deserved it (17454)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States

Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML

#20957459
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41148) - you deserved it (4431)

On 11/14/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by CallmeEddie - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband and I went for our 20 week scan and found out we're having a girl. The first thing he said to me was, "The next one better be a boy or I'm leaving you". FML

#20952357
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50267) - you deserved it (4465)

On 11/10/2013 at 5:28am - kids - by Naomi - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

#20941762
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21419) - you deserved it (50220)

On 11/01/2013 at 7:55pm - health - by nl4 (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

#20941017
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37204) - you deserved it (3284)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by bobosgonnagetyou - United States (Oregon)

Today, I'm severely sunburned and can barely walk properly. My boyfriend keeps telling his friends that it's because of "how hard he gave it to me last night". FML

#20936372
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52227) - you deserved it (9196)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - intimacy - by snowwhite (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend told me how jealous he gets when I "hang out" with Dylan. Dylan is the 5-year-old boy whom I babysit every day. My boyfriend wants me to stop, because apparently Dylan cockblocks him. FML

#20933884
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43829) - you deserved it (4828)

On 10/25/2013 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)



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