JocelynKaulitz

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JocelynKaulitz

152Fucked!

JocelynKaulitzJocelynKaulitz
  • Town/Country : Fullerton, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 15791
  • Number of comments : 491
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Name's Jocelyn, get at me babes!

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>TheDarkLight</b> - 24 hours ago<b>Maloonatic</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 4:57am<b>MitchRapp</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 9:15pm<b>danm19</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 11:11pm<b>Oliveisthenewora</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 2:36am<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 4:53am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 2:41am<b>Its_Jess_</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 2:12am<b>chewsef</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 12:34am<b>theonejr3</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 12:30am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 8:41pm<b>hyposimple90</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 8:26pm<b>EoinDonnelly</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 5:27pm<b>Sam_Dchi</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 12:38pm<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 9:20am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 8:53am<b>jackthemac</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 12:22am<b>karla_darla</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 12:13am

Fucked!<b>chewsef</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 6:35am<b>theonejr3</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 7:46am<b>lambda</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 9:22pm<b>Mons</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 11:49am<b>asukakindred</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 11:53am<b>mathsfreak</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 1:20am<b>masschris</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 12:10am<b>frankmz</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 1:52pm<b>dominguez89</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 9:55am<b>silentj46290</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 2:56pm<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 1:25pm<b>A07</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 9:20pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 3:38am<b>Nexa</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 4:14am<b>yayhoo16</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 3:06am<b>SeanV979</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 9:13pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 7:24am<b>igg125</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 10:24pm

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a party, and someone called the cops on us. I dove into a bush that turned out to have thorns. I got multiple cuts and a sprained wrist, and got arrested anyway. Its kind of hard to hide from the police when you're screaming in agony. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2014 at 7:35am / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

by NoSexForMe / 07/13/2014 at 3:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 12:08am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

by and god shat / 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

by oh my fucking god / 07/10/2014 at 9:34am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love

Today, at my job at a frozen yogurt shop, an elderly woman gladly announced that I'd be seeing a lot of her due to the vaginal infection that she has. Thank you for that, ma'am. FML

by Sun_Kissed18 / 07/09/2014 at 3:26am / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, I complained to the train company online. I filled in information and added several photos as evidence. I only realised later that the photos I attached were nudes. FML

by anona / 07/08/2014 at 12:29pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy

Today, my teenage daughter faked a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her birthday. FML

by iphonerevolution / 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm / South Africa / Kids

Today, I parked my motorcycle in a parking spot. When I came back, my bike had been moved and was laying on its side with a note saying, "Sorry I dropped your motorcycle I was trying to move it forward so I could park my car because there weren't any other spots." FML

by AJL / 07/03/2014 at 9:30pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML

by Respect101 / 06/25/2014 at 8:20pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, while ringing up a girl, I asked for an ID to verify her credit card. She said she forgot it but pulls out her Facebook on her phone to show me it really is hers. FML

by Axelerate / 06/21/2014 at 2:49am / United States (Nevada) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.