Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

JocelynKaulitz

Search for a member

JocelynKaulitz
  • Town/Country : California, US
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 2447
  • Number of comments : 273
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Name's Jocelyn

Call me Jocy for short :)

Get to know meeee

Msg me! I like convos, very mucho!

The end.

:)

You may go about your day now.

JocelynKaulitz's last visitors

Hobbit79DJ109mangoboy1Covenant74TrecatXXNodakN8VDrewx77AGhost5445allforyoux3Bubbelz

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, I admitted my fear of small spaces to my boyfriend. His response was to immediately lock me in the hall closet. FML

#18918439
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19844) - you deserved it (2989)

On 01/26/2012 at 6:50pm - health - by Bailyboo (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML

#18849422
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13242) - you deserved it (21601)

On 01/18/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by Lickmylovepump (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I have to go on a diet, because I can't afford to buy bigger clothes. FML

#18768991
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8740) - you deserved it (23677)

On 01/10/2012 at 7:37pm - money - by Voltron - United States

Today, I fell asleep in class. I'm the teacher; I've already given students detention for falling asleep in class this year. FML

#18765510
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5174) - you deserved it (25738)

On 01/10/2012 at 9:50am - work - by nevasurprised - Germany

Today, I accidentally called my teacher "Babe". FML

#18734147
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23247) - you deserved it (9302)

On 01/07/2012 at 9:12am - misc - by randomgirl - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25836) - you deserved it (20206)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as an important meeting with clients was drawing to a close, we all stood up and they bid their farewells. My response was to blurt out, "Hello!" FML

#18701372
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13586) - you deserved it (5034)

On 01/03/2012 at 10:30pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I decided to write a romantic email to my boyfriend describing how much I love and miss him. An hour later, I got an email back saying, "I think we need to discuss this." It seems I sent it to my teacher by mistake. FML

#18675253
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23109) - you deserved it (10235)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:02pm - love - by mjbx (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

#18565100
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16530) - you deserved it (4151)

On 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17574) - you deserved it (5509)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a round brush stuck in my hair so badly that I couldn't get it out for 45 minutes, and had a panic attack. I had to drive through town with a brush dangling from my head, to the hair salon, and listen to them laugh while they got it out. FML

#18394314
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16219) - you deserved it (6207)

On 11/30/2011 at 2:25pm - misc - by maggie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

#18267814
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21048) - you deserved it (5850)

On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

#18227248
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35594) - you deserved it (2799) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2011 at 10:42am - misc - by Nico - France

Today, I went to the hospital with severe chest pain, thinking it was a heart attack. Turns out now I just can't have booze, pop, chocolate, fruit with skins, seeds, tomatoes, or mint. I'd rather have the heart attack. FML

#18058320
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20802) - you deserved it (2536)

On 10/23/2011 at 9:37pm - health - by heartsick (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years felt comfortable enough with me to disclose that he had previously spent 4 years in a mental institute because he tried to kill his mother. He also told me we will be together forever. I'm scared. FML

#18005142
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44260) - you deserved it (3638)

On 10/17/2011 at 6:02am - love - by bubba - China



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Break that FML
  • Hello everybody! It's great to be back to present you with a new artist. Well, two artists actually. We don't often publish artists that work as a team, and today is all the more interesting because we're…

Wednesday 15 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on:

© 2008-2013 by