JocelynKaulitz

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JocelynKaulitz

162Fucked!

JocelynKaulitzJocelynKaulitz
  • Town/Country : Fullerton, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 16237
  • Number of comments : 495
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Name's Jocelyn, get at me babes!

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>ChuckHolmes</b> - 8 hours ago<b>beffnytutt</b> - yesterday at 4:59pm<b>FueledByFate</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 2:28pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 11:00am<b>vaas90</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 3:06am<b>Snaek</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 11:03am<b>Representation</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 10:25am<b>DravensTheName</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 10:16pm<b>awildwhisper</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 9:27pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 9:16pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 8:37pm<b>wordiestcookie</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 7:18pm<b>noobsatin</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 7:05pm<b>Motocrosskid87</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 1:48pm<b>ReilyStafford</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 1:48pm<b>Unlovable_Me</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 10:11am<b>PresAgent</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 8:43am<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 12:50pm

Fucked!<b>awildwhisper</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 3:27am<b>Unlovable_Me</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 4:12pm<b>iron_man_583</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 5:33pm<b>ciaraash</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 11:57pm<b>Maloonatic</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 6:24pm<b>Motocrosskid87</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 2:43pm<b>xxdlp3000xdd</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 11:42am<b>prodigy57271</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 4:44am<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 8:31pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 1:21pm<b>chewsef</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 6:35am<b>theonejr3</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 7:46am<b>lambda</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 9:22pm<b>Mons</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 11:49am<b>asukakindred</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 11:53am<b>mathsfreak</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 1:20am<b>masschris</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 12:10am<b>frankmz</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 1:52pm

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, my teenage daughter asked me to buy her the morning after pill, saying "It's for my acne." FML

by Disappointed / 10/03/2014 at 11:08pm / Health

Today, I found out that when I asked my buddy to make sure my girlfriend was safe while I was abroad, he really did; he even used a condom. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, while running an event, my belt loop got caught in those metal whorls that outdoor chairs have. I couldn't get it undone and had to greet guests by standing up and bringing the chair with me, hanging from my ass. My coworker finally had to cut the belt loop to set me free. FML

by Abbynyc / 09/28/2014 at 7:40am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I can't go on watching season 8 of The Big Bang Theory, not because of the steady decline of the show's quality, but because I can't stand Penny's new haircut. FML

by shelookslikemiley / 09/23/2014 at 8:48am / Australia / Geek

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

by Sinnersinner / 09/21/2014 at 7:27am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm / Ghana (Greater Accra) / Animals

Today, I woke up to find a huge zit directly between my two eyebrows. My friends have started calling me "The North Star." FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2014 at 11:55am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", honey. FML

by healthfreak / 09/06/2014 at 9:57pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML

by Anonymous / 09/05/2014 at 5:54pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML

by candy man / 09/04/2014 at 3:32pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking my dogs when a woman at a bus stop quite rudely exclaimed, "Keep those mutts away from my kid". I replied just as rudely that I wouldn't want them anywhere near her dirty sprog. It was then we both realised she was a customer that I regularly talk to at work. FML

by Jenniesaurus / 09/04/2014 at 8:22am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

by anon / 08/31/2014 at 11:14am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

by whotouchedyou1 / 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

by royallymessedup / 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm / Love