About JocelynKaulitz : Name's Jocelyn, get at me babes!
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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/04/2014 at 8:11am / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/30/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, while running an event, my belt loop got caught in those metal whorls that outdoor chairs have. I couldn't get it undone and had to greet guests by standing up and bringing the chair with me, hanging from my ass. My coworker finally had to cut the belt loop to set me free. FML
by Abbynyc / 09/28/2014 at 7:40am / United States (New York) / Work
by shelookslikemiley / 09/23/2014 at 8:48am / Australia / Geek
Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML
by Sinnersinner / 09/21/2014 at 7:27am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm / Ghana (Greater Accra) / Animals
by Anonymous / 09/07/2014 at 11:55am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by healthfreak / 09/06/2014 at 9:57pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML
by Anonymous / 09/05/2014 at 5:54pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love
by littleteapot / 09/04/2014 at 10:47pm / United States / Intimacy
by candy man / 09/04/2014 at 3:32pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking my dogs when a woman at a bus stop quite rudely exclaimed, "Keep those mutts away from my kid". I replied just as rudely that I wouldn't want them anywhere near her dirty sprog. It was then we both realised she was a customer that I regularly talk to at work. FML
by Jenniesaurus / 09/04/2014 at 8:22am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Work
by anon / 08/31/2014 at 11:14am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by whotouchedyou1 / 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying… Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs tv room. Just as he… Today, I went on a third date with this guy, hoping I'd finally get some action. I got a high five.…