About JocelynKaulitz : Name's Jocelyn
Call me Jocy for short :)
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Today, I was operating on a young girl, when she began to awake during the surgery. We quickly put her back under, of course, but now I'm terrified that she'll remember my profuse cursing and get me in the shit with my curmudgeonly killjoy of a boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15362) - you deserved it (7352)
On 06/03/2012 at 4:27pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9201) - you deserved it (29289)
On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)
Today, I realized that the reason there is no toilet paper in the house is because both my parents are too stubborn to be the one who goes out to buy more. It's been five days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13361) - you deserved it (2297)
Today, my grandmother told me my favorite top had a permanent smell of BO, despite my constant deodorant use. I wear the top to work just about every shift. I now realize all the weird little comments my coworkers have made are actually hints to go take a shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5736) - you deserved it (15479)
On 05/25/2012 at 3:07am - work - by emliv12 - Australia (Victoria)
Today, after months of using the empty driveway across the street from my house, a note was placed under my windshield wiper. It read, "Please stop parking in my driveway. P.S. You’re hot. Are you single?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (4773) - you deserved it (22478)
On 05/21/2012 at 9:05pm - misc - by bronco_lover89 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28879) - you deserved it (3585)
On 05/19/2012 at 11:08am - intimacy - by maggierose171 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17532) - you deserved it (3450)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm - money - by me (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my fiancé emailed me some steamy pics. Too bad he forgot to erase "FWD:" from the subject line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16596) - you deserved it (1382)
On 05/18/2012 at 12:05pm - love - by ohyesIfeelspecial (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15425) - you deserved it (3350)
On 05/18/2012 at 11:05am - love - by Great. (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15577) - you deserved it (2353)
On 05/16/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by HK (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6278) - you deserved it (23129)
On 05/16/2012 at 5:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, it's my birthday. All I wanted was birthday sex, but all my boyfriend could talk about was how great the new purse he got me was. I think he might like it more than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18166) - you deserved it (3411)
On 05/13/2012 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21153) - you deserved it (6595)
On 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by 504-A1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14381) - you deserved it (1309)
On 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by Jesse (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7943) - you deserved it (24035)
On 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by polimeros (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)
Monday 20 May 2013
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