JocelynKaulitz

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Offline (the 09/27/2016 at 1:41pm)

JocelynKaulitz

164Fucked!

JocelynKaulitzJocelynKaulitz
  • Town/Country : Fullerton, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 16742
  • Number of comments : 499
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Name's Jocelyn, get at me babes!

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>ali282h</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 12:20pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 7:16pm<b>LikesRedLollis</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 4:25pm<b>thatguy240</b> - the 09/17/2016 at 3:11am<b>Thebroskii</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 9:39pm<b>rawrlol91</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 9:07pm<b>Electric_Bacon</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 1:49pm<b>newzealand</b> - the 09/10/2016 at 6:30pm<b>turdoblast</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 4:09pm<b>AbortionSurvivor</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 8:17am<b>cyberI7</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 11:49pm<b>Mons</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 10:51pm<b>Infamous278</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 9:40pm<b>waleedma</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 9:33pm<b>wrr124</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 8:55pm<b>Roseand</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 5:32pm<b>roock87</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 4:44pm<b>iamscott</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 3:54pm

Fucked!<b>roock87</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 10:44pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 1:23am<b>awildwhisper</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 3:27am<b>Unlovable_Me</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 4:12pm<b>iron_man_583</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 5:33pm<b>ciaraash</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 11:57pm<b>Maloonatic</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 6:24pm<b>Motocrosskid87</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 2:43pm<b>xxdlp3000xdd</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 11:42am<b>prodigy57271</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 4:44am<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 8:31pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 1:21pm<b>chewsef</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 6:35am<b>theonejr3</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 7:46am<b>lambda</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 9:22pm<b>Mons</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 11:49am<b>asukakindred</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 11:53am<b>mathsfreak</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 1:20am

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my midterm finals for AP Literature. My teacher had good news and bad news for us. The bad news? That he lost the file for our original exam and so had to make a harder exam for us. An exam he told us not to study for. The good news? "Jesus Christ suffered and died for our sins." FML

Today, my mom told me how lucky I was to inherit her "asymptomatic" periods. It's true, I don't get cramps, bloating or mood swings with my periods. Nope, just excruciatingly painful diarrhea. Thanks, mom. FML

by period_probs / 12/15/2014 at 8:23pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

by terdberglerforlyfe / 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Kids

Today, at the fast food joint I work at, I had to climb into the children's play area and chase out two horny teens who thought it was an appropriate place to stick their hands down each other's pants and fool around. I don't get paid enough for this shit. FML

by quickit / 12/05/2014 at 12:14pm / United States (New York) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my neighbor showed me footage of my 7-year-old son spraying his beloved rose garden with weed killer. The whole garden is dead as fuck, and I'm now being taken to small claims court. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2014 at 8:44am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML

by fishtacos / 11/30/2014 at 10:32pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I came home late from work. As I got out of my car, I noticed a child-shaped silhouette in my bedroom window. I almost shat myself, since I live alone. I searched the whole house, sobbing in fear, only to find no trace of whatever or whoever I'd seen. FML

by void bowels() { cry(); } / 11/26/2014 at 3:45pm / United Kingdom (Caerphilly) / Transportation

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman. My name is Elsa. FML

by elsatheannoyed / 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, as I was waiting in line at the check out, some guy came up behind me, plucked a hair out of my head, and ran off with it. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2014 at 1:49pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2014 at 1:23pm / Kids

Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2014 at 1:23pm / Kids

Today, my anxiety got so bad that when I stole a sword in Skyrim and resisted arrest, I had a full-on panic attack as I ran away. I ended up curling up on the sofa as my character got hacked to death on the TV. FML

by Anonymous S'wit / 11/08/2014 at 5:49pm / Portugal / Health

Today, I was getting everything ready for mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new bed sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML

by betterthanhodor / 11/08/2014 at 9:09am / United Kingdom (Suffolk) / Intimacy

Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML

by dwood08 / 11/06/2014 at 8:55pm / United States (New York) / Animals