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JocelynKaulitz

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JocelynKaulitz

30Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8220
  • Number of comments : 428
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Working customer service at Target for over a year has made me hate people.

Name's Jocelyn.

I feel more satisfied when my comments get thumbed down rather than thumbed up, it's different.

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>pitbull3k</b> - 35 minutes ago<b>eatsteak</b> - 10 hours ago<b>dk1991</b> - yesterday at 12:49pm<b>kingbubbles</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 3:40am<b>breaking6883</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 4:13pm<b>a_wiener_d0g</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 1:27pm<b>Devindelon</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 12:34am<b>sirrubberduckie</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 12:03am<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 10:32pm<b>minutepoet</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 9:34pm<b>emily1015</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 6:30pm<b>shinklefly</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 5:43pm<b>brndnmcmillan</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 5:15pm<b>FBellesLife</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 4:56pm<b>Ruskiy_Cherep</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 3:15pm<b>facelick</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 2:23pm<b>cohenb93</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 1:27pm<b>ashla8613</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:51pm

Liked!<b>FBellesLife</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 4:51am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:05am<b>IamHercules</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 6:35pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 3:22pm<b>RA91</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 11:31pm<b>jalenthesamoan</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 8:29pm<b>a_wiener_d0g</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 4:03am<b>anonymousguy1569</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 2:57am<b>Sophie_K</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 9:55pm<b>osr215</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 11:08pm<b>yeatesj</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:17pm<b>whatshisname1066</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 9:16am<b>gary3768</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 5:36am<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 5:17am<b>minutepoet</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 8:07pm<b>CCRider</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 7:29am<b>kyle8211</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 12:38am<b>cassiecassie559</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 1:23am

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

#21214127
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29704) - you deserved it (37950)

On 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a party, and someone called the cops on us. I dove into a bush that turned out to have thorns. I got multiple cuts and a sprained wrist, and got arrested anyway. Its kind of hard to hide from the police when you're screaming in agony. FML

#21213929
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38359) - you deserved it (24341)

On 07/19/2014 at 7:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58127) - you deserved it (7224)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

#21207511
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41697) - you deserved it (13608)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44307) - you deserved it (8286)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50700) - you deserved it (6637)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46677) - you deserved it (8164)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, at my job at a frozen yogurt shop, an elderly woman gladly announced that I'd be seeing a lot of her due to the vaginal infection that she has. Thank you for that, ma'am. FML

#21203678
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41866) - you deserved it (3814)

On 07/09/2014 at 3:26am - health - by Sun_Kissed18 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I complained to the train company online. I filled in information and added several photos as evidence. I only realised later that the photos I attached were nudes. FML

#21202786
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23854) - you deserved it (56685)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by anona (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my teenage daughter faked a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her birthday. FML

#21198840
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55285) - you deserved it (11348)

On 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm - kids - by iphonerevolution - South Africa

Today, I parked my motorcycle in a parking spot. When I came back, my bike had been moved and was laying on its side with a note saying, "Sorry I dropped your motorcycle I was trying to move it forward so I could park my car because there weren't any other spots." FML

#21197788
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48878) - you deserved it (6206)

On 07/03/2014 at 9:30pm - misc - by AJL - United States

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

#21190698
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51745) - you deserved it (6630)

On 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43009) - you deserved it (6139)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML

#21188385
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37027) - you deserved it (25216)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by Respect101 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while ringing up a girl, I asked for an ID to verify her credit card. She said she forgot it but pulls out her Facebook on her phone to show me it really is hers. FML



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