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JocelynKaulitz

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JocelynKaulitz

48Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9270
  • Number of comments : 441
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Just keeping it irie.

Name's Jocelyn!

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

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JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

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Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

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JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to find that my acne has lined itself beautifully in a perfect 'L' shape in the centre of my forehead. FML

Today, as a limo driver, I had to drive 8 guys for a night-out from their wives. I put the Michigan/Rutgers game on the radio, thinking they would appreciate that. Apparently, they wanted to listen to their "pump-up" songs instead, which were mostly Katy Perry songs. FML

#21271972
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36775) - you deserved it (4700)

On 10/06/2014 at 11:05am - work - by theseguysarewhipped... - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

#21271608
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37095) - you deserved it (16371)

On 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

#21271608
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37095) - you deserved it (16371)

On 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found a decomposing hamster deep in my closet. My daughter had hidden "Peach" after accidentally killing it and said it had ran away a month ago. And I'd believed her. FML

#21271391
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35418) - you deserved it (4446)

On 10/05/2014 at 5:34pm - kids - by SmellyCloset (man) - United States (California)

Today, I thought I would be cute for my 1 year anniversary with my girlfriend so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML

#21270586
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35528) - you deserved it (6593)

On 10/04/2014 at 9:57am - love - by cuteloser (man) - Australia

Today, I tried kissing my boyfriend on the tip of his nose. He sneezed mid-kiss and head butted me. Now there is just an awkward silence. FML

#21270556
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33026) - you deserved it (3874)

On 10/04/2014 at 8:11am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me to buy her the morning after pill, saying "It's for my acne." FML

#21270394
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35874) - you deserved it (4223)

On 10/03/2014 at 11:08pm - health - by Disappointed -

Today, I found out that when I asked my buddy to make sure my girlfriend was safe while I was abroad, he really did; he even used a condom. FML

#21268339
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43698) - you deserved it (3991)

On 09/30/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, while running an event, my belt loop got caught in those metal whorls that outdoor chairs have. I couldn't get it undone and had to greet guests by standing up and bringing the chair with me, hanging from my ass. My coworker finally had to cut the belt loop to set me free. FML

#21266851
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28621) - you deserved it (3491)

On 09/28/2014 at 7:40am - work - by Abbynyc - United States (New York)

Today, I can't go on watching season 8 of The Big Bang Theory, not because of the steady decline of the show's quality, but because I can't stand Penny's new haircut. FML

#21263705
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28948) - you deserved it (17228)

On 09/23/2014 at 8:48am - misc - by shelookslikemiley - Australia

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40567) - you deserved it (5671)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31728) - you deserved it (18250)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I woke up to find a huge zit directly between my two eyebrows. My friends have started calling me "The North Star." FML

#21253662
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34959) - you deserved it (3238)

On 09/07/2014 at 11:55am - health - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", honey. FML

#21253313
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40172) - you deserved it (3812)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by healthfreak - United States (Georgia)



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