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JocelynKaulitz

Offline (the 07/24/2015 at 10:08am) | Search for a member

JocelynKaulitz

73Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12825
  • Number of comments : 455
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Just keeping it irie.

Name's Jocelyn!

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>SurfingPichu</b> - 7 hours ago<b>dmcintosh</b> - yesterday at 12:57pm<b>DragonDude</b> - yesterday at 12:04pm<b>Pierced_Bunny</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 11:11pm<b>trailyss</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:16pm<b>kamart</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:31am<b>axfabxdisaster</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 10:17am<b>Xkillz302</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 7:31am<b>ForGodAndMusic</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 3:23am<b>Xhase</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 9:16pm<b>i_dun_goofed</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 10:08am<b>MrsJoHood</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 11:44pm<b>Ultravev</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 3:20pm<b>leo_herzfeld</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 2:11am<b>sythe511</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 3:56pm<b>aboelmagd</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 10:37am<b>ali282h</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 12:45am<b>pyromaniac9</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 1:52pm

Fucked!<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 1:11pm<b>Sam_Dchi</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 12:57pm<b>juice_33</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 4:29pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 12:09pm<b>crazy_loner</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 11:23am<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:04am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 1:41pm<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:21am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 7:34am<b>Raltizal</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 5:22pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 5:19am<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:35am<b>ali282h</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 3:31am<b>rjc490</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 4:58pm<b>tot5t</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 8:00pm<b>natyemi15</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 5:08pm<b>erjgyflover</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 8:25pm<b>atrumX</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 8:07am

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML

#21342882
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31444) - you deserved it (4433)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:12pm - misc - by Annomymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I texted my boyfriend a few dirty messages at lunch time and told him how badly I wanted him home. He texted back lecturing me on how I shouldn't be so drunk so early. I was totally sober, but now I need a drink. FML

#21340989
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34005) - you deserved it (5184)

On 01/20/2015 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by fun in functioning, I suppose - United States (Mississippi)

Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah... I think we're done with that. FML

#21340673
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29473) - you deserved it (3528)

On 01/19/2015 at 11:42pm - intimacy - by BDSM4Jesus - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my crush was giving me a ride home. As we pulled up to my house, he looked into my eyes with a sweet smile and said the words every girl wants to hear - "Do you give head?" FML

#21339980
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38399) - you deserved it (6057)

On 01/19/2015 at 12:35am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad was fixing my wardrobe and pushed too hard, causing stuff to fall from the top shelves. I saw it happen with my own eyes, but he's dead-set convinced that it was some kind of poltergeist fucking with him, and now he doesn't want me to go in my room. FML

#21338219
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27620) - you deserved it (2164)

On 01/16/2015 at 11:22am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

#21335128
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18223) - you deserved it (26528)

On 01/11/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend and I were going to sext before going to sleep. It was very late, but I said I'd stay up for him. He sent a text asking me if I was ready. Me replying "yes" was the last thing I remember before I fell asleep on my horny boyfriend. FML

#21334154
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30534) - you deserved it (9400)

On 01/09/2015 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

#21330185
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36571) - you deserved it (6883)

On 01/03/2015 at 7:23pm - love - by allgassedout (man) - United States (California)

Today, as I left the supermarket, I found someone had hit my car in the parking lot. There was a note tucked under the wipers. Insurance details? Nope. It just said "Sorry dude. I fucked up. Good luck with the car." Great. FML

#21330094
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28429) - you deserved it (1797)

On 01/03/2015 at 4:16pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML

#21329473
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29170) - you deserved it (8615)

On 01/02/2015 at 5:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was brushing my teeth. When it came time for me to spit, I absentmindedly opened the bathroom drawer and spat in there instead of in the sink. FML

#21328982
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24706) - you deserved it (11267)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:38pm - misc - by 30000 - United States (California)

Today, I went on a first date, only for us to find the restaurant wasn't open on New Year's Day. My date suggested going to the mall instead. We drove in our own cars. Me: the mall, him: home. I waited for 40 minutes before realising he'd stood me up. Happy New Year to me. FML

#21328493
77 comments

Today, my mom and I went to exchange a massive stuffed animal, which was meant for my niece. I was carrying it when I saw a really hot guy looking at me funny. My mom snickered and told him that I never go anywhere without "George". FML

#21325643
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31252) - you deserved it (2889)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:52am - misc - by thanks a lot mom - United States (California)

Today, my mom finally got a Netflix account after months of me begging. When I asked her what the login was, she refused to give it to me. She said, "Netflix will know it's not me and then they'll cancel our account." FML



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