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JocelynKaulitz

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JocelynKaulitz

30Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8177
  • Number of comments : 428
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Working customer service at Target for over a year has made me hate people.

Name's Jocelyn.

I feel more satisfied when my comments get thumbed down rather than thumbed up, it's different.

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

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JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

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Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, I admitted my fear of small spaces to my boyfriend. His response was to immediately lock me in the hall closet. FML

#18918439
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25893) - you deserved it (4188)

On 01/26/2012 at 6:50pm - health - by Bailyboo (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I admitted my fear of small spaces to my boyfriend. His response was to immediately lock me in the hall closet. FML

#18918439
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25893) - you deserved it (4188)

On 01/26/2012 at 6:50pm - health - by Bailyboo (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML

#18849422
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17530) - you deserved it (31494)

On 01/18/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by Lickmylovepump (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

#18802490
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26739) - you deserved it (8609)

On 01/14/2012 at 1:52am - intimacy - by haggisbowl - United States

Today, I have to go on a diet, because I can't afford to buy bigger clothes. FML

#18768991
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11254) - you deserved it (33501)

On 01/10/2012 at 7:37pm - money - by Voltron - United States

Today, I fell asleep in class. I'm the teacher; I've already given students detention for falling asleep in class this year. FML

#18765510
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6893) - you deserved it (37193)

On 01/10/2012 at 9:50am - work - by nevasurprised - Germany

Today, I accidentally called my teacher "Babe". FML

#18734147
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29461) - you deserved it (13058)

On 01/07/2012 at 9:12am - misc - by randomgirl - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31780) - you deserved it (27444)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as an important meeting with clients was drawing to a close, we all stood up and they bid their farewells. My response was to blurt out, "Hello!" FML

#18701372
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18019) - you deserved it (6846)

On 01/03/2012 at 10:30pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I decided to write a romantic email to my boyfriend describing how much I love and miss him. An hour later, I got an email back saying, "I think we need to discuss this." It seems I sent it to my teacher by mistake. FML

#18675253
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28722) - you deserved it (14125)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:02pm - love - by mjbx (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

#18565100
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21562) - you deserved it (5348)

On 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22763) - you deserved it (7207)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a round brush stuck in my hair so badly that I couldn't get it out for 45 minutes, and had a panic attack. I had to drive through town with a brush dangling from my head, to the hair salon, and listen to them laugh while they got it out. FML

#18394314
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21482) - you deserved it (8237)

On 11/30/2011 at 2:25pm - misc - by maggie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

#18267814
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26867) - you deserved it (7956)

On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

#18227248
465 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41103) - you deserved it (3187) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2011 at 10:42am - misc - by Nico - France



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