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JocelynKaulitz

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JocelynKaulitz

12Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6433
  • Number of comments : 417
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Working customer service at Target for over a year has made me hate people.

Name's Jocelyn.

I feel more satisfied when my comments get thumbed down rather than thumbed up, it's different.

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - 9 hours ago<b>IAreBox</b> - 18 hours ago<b>Lessac</b> - 20 hours ago<b>Garrett2818</b> - yesterday at 11:28pm<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - yesterday at 10:24pm<b>GrinchFu1</b> - yesterday at 8:20pm<b>FaultInMyStars</b> - yesterday at 6:12pm<b>WeChaseClouds</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 4:02pm<b>DedicatedNova</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 1:44pm<b>RainbowSkyCloud</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 1:22pm<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 9:51am<b>NotAUser</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 4:23pm<b>skyttlz</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 2:42am<b>steventhellama</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 11:51pm<b>sadbubbles</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 8:57am<b>doofusrabbit</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 7:00pm<b>JuggaloSimms1441</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 10:33am<b>tmacc96</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 12:25am

Liked!<b>mrchubbz13</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 4:49pm<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 3:52pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 7:11am<b>crockracks</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 4:48pm<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 3:33am<b>Birdbath123</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 11:51am<b>xcarlito615x</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 5:53pm<b>Thenextguyover</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 12:12pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 11:11am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:48pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 4:23pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 9:04pm

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML

#16017887
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21594) - you deserved it (41224)

On 05/02/2011 at 10:30am - work - by MathTeacher (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML

#16017618
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40062) - you deserved it (3946)

On 05/02/2011 at 9:51am - health - by megomania (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

#15762337
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17673) - you deserved it (36437)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML

#15528931
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27406) - you deserved it (53683) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/28/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Danou - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

#15165919
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17584) - you deserved it (83053)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, to enhance our sex life, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex in our local mall's parking lot. The feeling of getting caught is fun and exhilarating. Until you actually get caught. FML

#14845323
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10748) - you deserved it (48703)

On 02/04/2011 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69679) - you deserved it (6564)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML

#14653951
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40337) - you deserved it (3410)

On 01/20/2011 at 8:15pm - love - by fianceeless (man) - United States (California)

Today, I managed to not think too much about how alone I feel living in a strange city, and I went out to find a quiet place to write and eat. After I ordered my meal, I saw that I was the only diner that was sitting alone at a table. Then 'All By Myself' came on the radio. FML

#14040843
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30874) - you deserved it (3164)

On 11/30/2010 at 9:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Italy

Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML

#13798665
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58894) - you deserved it (3403) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/11/2010 at 3:40am - love - by Anonymous - France

Today, out of all the cars in the parking lot, mine got struck by lightning. FML

#13442397
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36556) - you deserved it (3171)

On 10/14/2010 at 3:15am - misc - by A. - United States

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45887) - you deserved it (14690)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45887) - you deserved it (14690)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while working the cash register at my job, a little kid was running around with products while his mom was checking out. She told him she was going to give me his PSP if he didn't stop. He responded by throwing a bag of coffee beans at my face. I didn't even get to keep his PSP. FML

#13347486
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26508) - you deserved it (3718)

On 10/06/2010 at 9:15pm - kids - by BagelShmear - United States (Florida)

Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML

#13345855
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8333) - you deserved it (33115)

On 10/06/2010 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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