Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13919
  • Number of comments : 473
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Just keeping it irie.

Name's Jocelyn!

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - 24 hours ago<b>pete9913</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 3:34pm<b>vreid</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 2:49am<b>EnigmaticSoul</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 11:39pm<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 3:20pm<b>alex_gen</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 4:01am<b>JayL80</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 2:44am<b>AlaskanG</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 12:15pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 6:21am<b>ali282h</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 2:34am<b>MethuselahTurtle</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 2:28am<b>HofstraGirl</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 10:56pm<b>Venom69</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 9:03pm<b>BigxXxDeal</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 7:02pm<b>nicolai44</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 3:01pm<b>ncbb5</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 8:51am<b>va804juggalo</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 8:22am<b>wheresmymary</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 10:16pm

Fucked!<b>pete9913</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 9:34pm<b>alex_gen</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 10:01am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 12:21pm<b>int15</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 8:04pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 5:41am<b>enginsteve</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 5:15am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 10:15pm<b>clearlyroo440</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 9:01pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 5:40am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 8:17pm<b>Crossing</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 4:48pm<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 2:15pm<b>Tenker</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 3:01am<b>Hunter_the_Ninja</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 9:21pm<b>mongoosemike</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 2:45pm<b>Abskb1</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 8:55pm<b>bds2409</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 11:23pm<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 5:53pm

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend stormed out after I suggested to him that his relationship with his mother is maybe a little weird. Apparently having regular, hour-long phone discussions about your penis is a perfectly normal thing for a 23-year-old to have with his mother. FML


I agree, your life sucks (59349) - you deserved it (7201)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:14am - intimacy - by tiredofcrazy (woman) - Australia

Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43902) - you deserved it (21019)

On 03/15/2014 at 11:46pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, I found out that my lover and boyfriend of over 5 years has me listed in his contacts as "Vagina". FML


I agree, your life sucks (50399) - you deserved it (7046)

On 03/02/2014 at 3:44am - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was babysitting my 4-year-old cousin. She scraped her knee, and in an attempt to cheer her up, I put a refrigerator box over my head and waddled around like a penguin. She stopped crying, but only after I fell down a flight of tile stairs. FML

Today, my boss fired me. I can't really explain the slap I gave him for it, though. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24381) - you deserved it (35949) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/26/2014 at 4:45am - work - by sistermonster (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44796) - you deserved it (4189)

On 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I bought a new bra and panties and modeled them for my boyfriend. I thought he liked them, until mid-way through feeling me up, he decided he'd rather give me a massive wedgie. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51436) - you deserved it (7898)

On 02/22/2014 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by coppervains (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I saw a photo on my mother-in-law's Facebook, proudly showing off the horrible job she'd done of painting her car. I sarcastically commented that I wouldn't inflict that on my worst enemy's ride. An hour later, she came by and emptied a bucket of paint over my windshield. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26158) - you deserved it (50582)

On 02/20/2014 at 4:20pm - misc - by time to lawyer up (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I have Hello Kitty band-aids on my nips because I dozed off while tanning and burned them extra crispy. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23431) - you deserved it (41077)

On 02/16/2014 at 5:23pm - health - by extra crispy or original recipe (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was Skyping with a guy I'm really into. I'm not supposed to Skype at night, so when I heard my mum coming, I minimized the window. She walked in before I could mute my mic and started bitching me out for flushing my tampons down the toilet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41687) - you deserved it (24647)

On 02/11/2014 at 3:00pm - misc - by FUUUUCK (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, at work, a customer asked me to unlock the restroom for them. I honestly couldn't figure out which gender they were, but I didn't want to be rude and ask, so I took a chance. I unlocked the wrong one. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46779) - you deserved it (5556)

On 02/10/2014 at 3:48pm - work - by elizabethkalyn (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, trying to do something nice for my brother, I filled up his truck's gas tank. I didn't realize until too late that it's a diesel. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39706) - you deserved it (20806)

On 02/10/2014 at 1:57pm - misc - by Shooting myself - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43818) - you deserved it (11117)

On 02/02/2014 at 4:50pm - animals - by foops (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, and he was taking a shower. I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and ended having to shit in a plastic bag. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52195) - you deserved it (22825)

On 01/29/2014 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: