JocelynKaulitz

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JocelynKaulitz

144Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Fullerton, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14984
  • Number of comments : 483
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Name's Jocelyn, get at me babes!

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>frankmz</b> - 14 hours ago<b>TheOrangeSkittle</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 2:58am<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 6:55am<b>jbivens1992</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 1:37am<b>dominguez89</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 3:55am<b>PissedTumor</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 11:15pm<b>silentj46290</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 8:56am<b>orbit</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 9:25pm<b>cheeky_booty</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 8:03pm<b>Kayouri</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 2:56pm<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 7:25am<b>madous</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 9:37am<b>The666Ghost</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 10:19am<b>LaprasTV</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 9:33pm<b>salii321</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 3:22am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 8:58pm<b>george_s_4</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 11:38am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 11:39pm

Fucked!<b>dominguez89</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 9:55am<b>silentj46290</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 2:56pm<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 1:25pm<b>A07</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 9:20pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 3:38am<b>Nexa</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 4:14am<b>yayhoo16</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 3:06am<b>SeanV979</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 9:13pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 7:24am<b>igg125</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 10:24pm<b>nicolai44</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 7:33pm<b>extinct_dodo</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 3:02pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 2:59pm<b>Nomaddict</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 1:57pm<b>flannelboss27</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 5:41pm<b>JusstJef</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 5:24pm<b>Technastar</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 3:23pm<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 10:03pm

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, the guy I've been dating told me with a wink that before he'll go on any more dates, he'd require me to take a series of "oral exams" to prove I'm right for him. I think he actually expected that to work. NEXT. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2014 at 6:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2014 at 6:35pm / Australia / Kids

Today, fed up with my nerdy appearance, I got my hair shaved off, hoping for a Walter White kind of look. I didn't think it was too bad, but not even an hour later, I'd already been called a "fat Bruce Willis" and compared to a freshly circumcised penis. FML

by richard / 03/21/2014 at 12:10pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, a tiny worm was wriggling across the screen of my Mac laptop. I tried to wipe it away with my thumb, but it just kept crawling. Turns out the worm lives *inside* my screen, beneath the glass. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2014 at 1:14am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on my sixth date with a guy I was beginning to really like. He asked if I'd mind if his friend Pete met up with us afterwards. I said sure. Turns out "Pete" is his penis. FML

Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML

by systematicpanic / 03/20/2014 at 12:48pm / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Work

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

by BigBlue / 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend stormed out after I suggested to him that his relationship with his mother is maybe a little weird. Apparently having regular, hour-long phone discussions about your penis is a perfectly normal thing for a 23-year-old to have with his mother. FML

by tiredofcrazy / 03/18/2014 at 5:14am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2014 at 11:46pm / United States (Indiana) / Money

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, I found out that my lover and boyfriend of over 5 years has me listed in his contacts as "Vagina". FML

by ouch / 03/02/2014 at 3:44am / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, I was babysitting my 4-year-old cousin. She scraped her knee, and in an attempt to cheer her up, I put a refrigerator box over my head and waddled around like a penguin. She stopped crying, but only after I fell down a flight of tile stairs. FML

Today, my boss fired me. I can't really explain the slap I gave him for it, though. FML

by sistermonster / 02/26/2014 at 4:45am / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Work

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I bought a new bra and panties and modeled them for my boyfriend. I thought he liked them, until mid-way through feeling me up, he decided he'd rather give me a massive wedgie. FML

by coppervains / 02/22/2014 at 1:13pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy