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JocelynKaulitz

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JocelynKaulitz

14Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7081
  • Number of comments : 419
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Working customer service at Target for over a year has made me hate people.

Name's Jocelyn.

I feel more satisfied when my comments get thumbed down rather than thumbed up, it's different.

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>DaBayst</b> - yesterday at 10:43pm<b>dustydick</b> - yesterday at 1:59pm<b>Edogg215</b> - yesterday at 1:39pm<b>Roaryah</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 11:55pm<b>Nadron</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 4:20pm<b>Phaeno</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 10:49pm<b>muslimpride</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:31pm<b>hippodankamus</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 7:24pm<b>WeChaseClouds</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 10:09pm<b>ncbeach22</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 12:33pm<b>purpleturtle16</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 9:21am<b>Elgaard</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 4:06am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 11:55pm<b>totallybananas</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 10:27pm<b>Landesanity</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 4:44pm<b>imbetterthanyoo</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 3:23pm<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 2:17pm<b>JackDaddy13</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 12:02am

Liked!<b>kyle8211</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 12:38am<b>cassiecassie559</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 1:23am<b>mrchubbz13</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 4:49pm<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 3:52pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 7:11am<b>crockracks</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 4:48pm<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 3:33am<b>Birdbath123</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 11:51am<b>xcarlito615x</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 5:53pm<b>Thenextguyover</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 12:12pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 11:11am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:48pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 4:23pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 9:04pm

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

#20491900
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30522) - you deserved it (4278)

On 02/03/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by FUCK GOD (man) - Argentina (Salta)

Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML

#20489987
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31041) - you deserved it (19824)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia

Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place like some kind of mucus cannon. FML

#20484952
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28776) - you deserved it (6284)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36855) - you deserved it (2410)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

#20477493
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25670) - you deserved it (12342)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by awkwardturtle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML

#20473074
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29227) - you deserved it (2886)

On 01/22/2013 at 1:49pm - work - by me - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML

#20469405
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18421) - you deserved it (38923)

On 01/20/2013 at 11:34am - animals - by DrakeB (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34228) - you deserved it (2765)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML

#20440379
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11181) - you deserved it (39961)

On 01/03/2013 at 5:34am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with an engagement ring on my left hand. The same one I refused last month. My boyfriend apparently waited for me to be drunk to propose again last night, and has already posted the pics on Facebook. FML

#20427625
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38247) - you deserved it (14531)

On 12/28/2012 at 10:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to get to class at 9:00 to take a test. I woke up at 6:00, and figured I could wait a few minutes before getting ready. The next thing I knew, it was 10:30. FML

#20200420
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20369) - you deserved it (21245)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

#20199342
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26703) - you deserved it (6287)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML

#20193609
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34629) - you deserved it (3987)

On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)

Today, I bought my son a nice car for his 18th birthday. When I gave it to him, he just got mad and told me that if I really wanted to spend that much money on him, I should've used it to help him pay for college. FML

#20192045
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15124) - you deserved it (49374)

On 12/05/2012 at 6:27am - kids - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11929) - you deserved it (28076)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)



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