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JocelynKaulitz

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JocelynKaulitz

25Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7738
  • Number of comments : 424
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Working customer service at Target for over a year has made me hate people.

Name's Jocelyn.

I feel more satisfied when my comments get thumbed down rather than thumbed up, it's different.

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>jessiejamesp</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 3:30am<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 2:29am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 4:57pm<b>natepowers</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 3:39pm<b>jalenthesamoan</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 2:29pm<b>Landesanity</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 6:51pm<b>Lockerch</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 4:14pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 11:33am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 10:30pm<b>Klima</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 2:00pm<b>1nfinitee</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 3:10am<b>david_4197</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 6:46pm<b>JosephAnders</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 3:45pm<b>JAvolt</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 10:51pm<b>sp4ghetti</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 3:50pm<b>kishoreg</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 4:46am<b>kryptonite2070</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 3:22pm<b>cocogibson</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 2:49pm

Liked!<b>jalenthesamoan</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 8:29pm<b>a_wiener_d0g</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 4:03am<b>anonymousguy1569</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 2:57am<b>Sophie_K</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 9:55pm<b>osr215</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 11:08pm<b>yeatesj</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:17pm<b>whatshisname1066</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 9:16am<b>gary3768</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 5:36am<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 5:17am<b>minutepoet</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 8:07pm<b>CCRider</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 7:29am<b>kyle8211</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 12:38am<b>cassiecassie559</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 1:23am<b>mrchubbz13</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 4:49pm<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 3:52pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 7:11am<b>crockracks</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 4:48pm<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 3:33am

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, I convinced my father that "Juanito", our relative who needed money for immediate surgery in Mexico was a stranger attempting to scam him. I was $1400 too late. FML

#20922898
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40009) - you deserved it (3567)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:05pm - money - by . (woman) - United States

Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML

#20919168
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44727) - you deserved it (3915)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:50pm - money - by and she blames me -_- (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my new deodorant caused an allergic reaction, covering my armpits in a painful rash. I've had to awkwardly waddle around all day with my arms splayed outwards to get any relief. One customer at work sarcastically mentioned that it's nice that they're hiring penguins these days. FML

#20909610
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39419) - you deserved it (3334)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:40pm - health - by _/ | \_ (woman) - Singapore

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61323) - you deserved it (25737)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found tiny little maggots in the bristles of my toothbrush. I have no idea how long they've been there. FML

Today, I realised I sweat so much that I won't be able to go without sticking super pads with wings to my shirt underarms everyday. It makes supermarket trips interesting. Especially as a man. FML

#20895380
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35313) - you deserved it (3498)

On 09/25/2013 at 6:37am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

Today, my barber repeatedly threatened to stab me with scissors while I was getting my hair cut. FML

#20858870
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36566) - you deserved it (4038)

On 08/29/2013 at 3:39am - misc - by oD_Ronan (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

#20857818
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49592) - you deserved it (9265)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I could hear my daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. "Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise?", she said. "Of course, we slept together!" My daughter is six. FML

#20856377
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48568) - you deserved it (8072) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2013 at 6:32am - kids - by Poly24 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I don't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

#20855163
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48216) - you deserved it (4831)

On 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm - misc - by Miami6and3 - United States (California)

Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML

#20848780
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52692) - you deserved it (3830)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:40am - love - by Embarrassed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML

#20833982
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45590) - you deserved it (4071)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:04pm - misc - by idonteven - United States (California)

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48002) - you deserved it (23088)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

#20798640
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56175) - you deserved it (11983)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:04am - intimacy - by suckstosuck (woman) - United States (California)



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