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JocelynKaulitz

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JocelynKaulitz

66Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11375
  • Number of comments : 452
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Just keeping it irie.

Name's Jocelyn!

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>maxyutd</b> - yesterday at 8:20am<b>_kyleG_</b> - yesterday at 7:20am<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 7:17am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 4:21am<b>Sobe_1900</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 12:38am<b>ostark</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 11:29pm<b>underthesea12</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 12:02pm<b>Soccerboi15</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 1:00am<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 7:10pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 11:51am<b>thrasher590</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 11:44pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 9:24am<b>wildbill248</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 6:05pm<b>EvAN_117</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 8:09am<b>Raltizal</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 11:22am<b>LadyGagasNipple</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 8:31am<b>scottyboy417</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 2:08am<b>hahatofunny</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 2:41pm

Fucked!<b>Radgears47</b> - yesterday at 10:21am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 7:34am<b>Raltizal</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 5:22pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 5:19am<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:35am<b>ali282h</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 3:31am<b>rjc490</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 4:58pm<b>tot5t</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 8:00pm<b>natyemi15</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 5:08pm<b>erjgyflover</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 8:25pm<b>atrumX</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 8:07am<b>powerkeep</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 4:09pm<b>Corey122726</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 2:21pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 12:37pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 11:57am<b>pks2014</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 2:46am<b>kooljac702</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:05pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 5:11am

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

#21112406
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41701) - you deserved it (6803)

On 04/13/2014 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

#21111156
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36193) - you deserved it (8485)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19497) - you deserved it (45036)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, I went out drinking with my tattoo artist brother-in-law. I was so wasted that I agreed to let him try working on me. I woke up with a tattoo of an animated marijuana plant smoking a cigarette. This'll look just great when I'm defending clients in court. FML

#21107817
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24992) - you deserved it (43299)

On 04/08/2014 at 6:04pm - misc - by not a dumbass pothead (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, after cleaning my house because I'd thrown a party all weekend while my parents were gone, I still got caught because somebody tried to make beer popsicles with Q-Tips in the ice trays in my freezer. FML

#21106348
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20173) - you deserved it (38471)

On 04/06/2014 at 11:03pm - misc - by trp007 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it's the last day of my sign language class. At the end of the class, my teacher surprised us by speaking for the first time, also surprising everyone that she wasn't actually deaf. It wouldn't have been so bad had I not just given someone an answer to the test, thinking she couldn't hear me. FML

Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML

#21101391
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46894) - you deserved it (34471)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43666) - you deserved it (6525)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there, when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says, "He's not coming, you may as well go home." FML

#21097979
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44106) - you deserved it (6344)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:03pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, the clock in the study lounge was off, so I was half-an-hour late to class. I was too embarrassed to walk in late, so I sat for the next half-hour with my ear against the door trying to hear the lecture. People stopped to ask if there was something wrong with me. Yeah, probably. FML

#21096550
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35149) - you deserved it (10411)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:31pm - work - by SocialAnxietySucks (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while we were having sex, my boyfriend asked me, "Who's your daddy?" I actually started thinking about my father. Total buzzkill. FML

Today, I learned that most teenagers would rather grab free candy from the broken vending machine than help the guy stuck underneath it get free. FML

#21093947
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42758) - you deserved it (4797)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the guy I've been dating told me with a wink that before he'll go on any more dates, he'd require me to take a series of "oral exams" to prove I'm right for him. I think he actually expected that to work. NEXT. FML

#21093699
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43271) - you deserved it (5796)

On 03/22/2014 at 6:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML

#21092859
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46081) - you deserved it (5988)

On 03/21/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia



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