Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

JocelynKaulitz

Offline (yesterday at 1:02pm) | Search for a member

JocelynKaulitz

80Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13086
  • Number of comments : 457
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Just keeping it irie.

Name's Jocelyn!

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>jozhe</b> - 17 hours ago<b>i_lol_at_life</b> - 19 hours ago<b>BunchieRules</b> - 20 hours ago<b>paravoz</b> - 20 hours ago<b>Paris25</b> - 23 hours ago<b>Amateur_Dank</b> - yesterday at 6:45pm<b>americanafrican</b> - yesterday at 5:49pm<b>redstone7693</b> - yesterday at 2:57pm<b>BlackFames</b> - yesterday at 2:27pm<b>nzhx</b> - yesterday at 12:15pm<b>pratikp03</b> - yesterday at 11:18am<b>kangx1</b> - yesterday at 10:47am<b>onlychildFTW</b> - yesterday at 9:56am<b>vreid</b> - yesterday at 9:20am<b>sdlr32787</b> - yesterday at 9:11am<b>The_Avatar</b> - yesterday at 8:55am<b>SadLittleTurtle</b> - yesterday at 8:44am<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 8:29am

Fucked!<b>paravoz</b> - 14 hours ago<b>sdlr32787</b> - yesterday at 3:11pm<b>The_Avatar</b> - yesterday at 2:55pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - yesterday at 1:46pm<b>MrRigger69</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 3:11pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 2:41am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 11:00pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 1:11pm<b>Sam_Dchi</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 12:57pm<b>juice_33</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 4:29pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 12:09pm<b>crazy_loner</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 11:23am<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:04am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 1:41pm<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:21am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 7:34am<b>Raltizal</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 5:22pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 5:19am

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom discovered a new way to get over her breakup: yodelling. FML

#21129926
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40733) - you deserved it (3332)

On 05/03/2014 at 7:51pm - misc - by shylahrc - United States

Today, my boss told our production department that we're not allowed to be happy. FML

#21129081
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40368) - you deserved it (3390)

On 05/02/2014 at 8:03pm - work - by i guess (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I farted so loudly I not only woke myself up, but my husband as well. He mistook my gas for someone trying to break in and insisted on checking the whole house. I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. FML

#21125262
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42323) - you deserved it (8587)

On 04/28/2014 at 12:58pm - misc - by gassymomma (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55434) - you deserved it (5014)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, I wanted to prove to my dad that I can drive, so that he'd let me use his car in future. Let's just say I helped him remove the fence that he was planning to repair. FML

#21112820
62 comments

Today, I had to convince my 3-year-old son that there were monsters in the house just so he would lie in bed and cuddle me. FML

#21112742
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35258) - you deserved it (25701)

On 04/14/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by tinytiny1124 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

#21112406
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46080) - you deserved it (7479)

On 04/13/2014 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

#21111156
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37900) - you deserved it (8800)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19538) - you deserved it (45159)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, I went out drinking with my tattoo artist brother-in-law. I was so wasted that I agreed to let him try working on me. I woke up with a tattoo of an animated marijuana plant smoking a cigarette. This'll look just great when I'm defending clients in court. FML

#21107817
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25525) - you deserved it (44224)

On 04/08/2014 at 6:04pm - misc - by not a dumbass pothead (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, after cleaning my house because I'd thrown a party all weekend while my parents were gone, I still got caught because somebody tried to make beer popsicles with Q-Tips in the ice trays in my freezer. FML

#21106348
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21211) - you deserved it (40435)

On 04/06/2014 at 11:03pm - misc - by trp007 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it's the last day of my sign language class. At the end of the class, my teacher surprised us by speaking for the first time, also surprising everyone that she wasn't actually deaf. It wouldn't have been so bad had I not just given someone an answer to the test, thinking she couldn't hear me. FML

Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML

#21101391
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47981) - you deserved it (35129)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45599) - you deserved it (6787)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: