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JocelynKaulitz

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JocelynKaulitz
  • Town/Country : California, US
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 4166
  • Number of comments : 388
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : 'Cause I'm a picker, I'm a grinner, I'm a lover, and I'm a sinner.
I play my music in the sun.

Name's Jocelyn.

JocelynKaulitz's last visitors

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An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML

#20079105
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27033) - you deserved it (2823)

On 09/19/2012 at 10:54am - misc - by LawStudent (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML

#20078928
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7148) - you deserved it (36744)

On 09/19/2012 at 5:27am - love - by pussyface96 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent ten minutes looking for my cell phone in the dark, only to realize the light I was using was my cell phone's. FML

#20078695
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6160) - you deserved it (26570)

On 09/19/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by unaware - United States (Ohio)

Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML

#20077962
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41189) - you deserved it (5961)

On 09/18/2012 at 4:20pm - health - by GMD (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I received the heels I'll be wearing at my best friend's wedding. The bride ordered them for us to match the dresses. They're six-inch platform heels. I have three broken toes and am still wearing a boot. The wedding is next weekend. FML

#20077221
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18155) - you deserved it (1583)

On 09/18/2012 at 12:35am - health - by AnnieThrax (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my nitwit son infected our family computer with some sort of mad bastard virus after getting fooled by the promise of some non-existent Hannah Montana nudes. FML

#20076697
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16454) - you deserved it (1776)

On 09/17/2012 at 7:25pm - kids - by StupidBerk (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my nitwit son infected our family computer with some sort of mad bastard virus after getting fooled by the promise of some non-existent Hannah Montana nudes. FML

#20076697
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16454) - you deserved it (1776)

On 09/17/2012 at 7:25pm - kids - by StupidBerk (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I got fired for saving my company upwards of $6,000. I'm as confused as you are. FML

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his parents. My boyfriend is Japanese, and I wanted to introduce myself in Japanese so I'd asked him. Little did I know he'd taught me how to say, "Hello, I love your son's cock." I almost got kicked out of their house. FML

#20075207
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25534) - you deserved it (3456)

On 09/16/2012 at 8:50pm - love - by painfetish8021 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up feeling ecstatic, because last night, my crush had told my best friend he likes me a lot. I sent him a text message telling him the feeling is mutual. A little while after sending it, it hit me that his confession had only been part of a dream. FML

#20073337
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27517) - you deserved it (6142)

On 09/15/2012 at 6:16pm - love - by hannah (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)

Today, I woke up feeling ecstatic, because last night, my crush had told my best friend he likes me a lot. I sent him a text message telling him the feeling is mutual. A little while after sending it, it hit me that his confession had only been part of a dream. FML

#20073337
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27517) - you deserved it (6142)

On 09/15/2012 at 6:16pm - love - by hannah (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)

Today, feeling angry at the world, I threw a bottle, that had been clearly marked to be recycled, into a garbage can as an act of defiance. Minutes later, I guiltily retreated and spent the next few minutes with my entire arm stuck up the stinking ass of a city garbage can. FML

#20069676
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3853) - you deserved it (21383)

On 09/12/2012 at 11:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37694) - you deserved it (2942)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

#20066447
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15042) - you deserved it (5320)

On 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm - work - by kevcng (man) - United States

Today, it was my first day back at school. My social anxiety is so bad that I couldn't even raise my hand to use the bathroom because I didn't want people to look at me. FML

#20057693
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18419) - you deserved it (3716)

On 09/04/2012 at 5:55pm - health - by freakingout (man) - United States (New York)



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