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JocelynKaulitz

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JocelynKaulitz

14Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6629
  • Number of comments : 417
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Working customer service at Target for over a year has made me hate people.

Name's Jocelyn.

I feel more satisfied when my comments get thumbed down rather than thumbed up, it's different.

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>artist264</b> - 3 hours ago<b>Trollx</b> - 13 hours ago<b>Remehdy</b> - yesterday at 3:35am<b>tonyromoy</b> - yesterday at 10:48pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - yesterday at 12:07pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 9:57pm<b>ktm71125</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 8:41pm<b>mip_92</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 1:00am<b>buckstop1</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 10:24pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 6:57pm<b>sju91</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 6:58am<b>bingo__O</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 7:57pm<b>RedNinjaTurtle</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 7:35pm<b>kyle8211</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 6:38pm<b>freezingmylife</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 8:38am<b>gramirez23</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 12:56am<b>Vagitarian1</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 3:24am<b>umerin</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 2:43am

Liked!<b>kyle8211</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 12:38am<b>cassiecassie559</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 1:23am<b>mrchubbz13</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 4:49pm<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 3:52pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 7:11am<b>crockracks</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 4:48pm<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 3:33am<b>Birdbath123</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 11:51am<b>xcarlito615x</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 5:53pm<b>Thenextguyover</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 12:12pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 11:11am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:48pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 4:23pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 9:04pm

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML

#20848780
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52634) - you deserved it (3829)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:40am - love - by Embarrassed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML

#20833982
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45123) - you deserved it (4023)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:04pm - misc - by idonteven - United States (California)

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47947) - you deserved it (23064)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

#20798640
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56101) - you deserved it (11964)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:04am - intimacy - by suckstosuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my driving instructor failed me on my test, because I forgot to turn the air conditioning off after parking. FML

#20780305
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60329) - you deserved it (5398)

On 07/13/2013 at 4:40pm - misc - by WOW (man) - Kenya

Today, I had a job interview. All was going well until the interviewer asked me, "So, why should we hire you?" Without thinking, I blurted out, "Because, I'm awesome!" Don't think I'll be getting that one. FML

Today, while waitressing, I had a huge party. When everything was said and done I saw the tip they left me. It said on a napkin, "You're pretty. You can't put a value on a compliment." And that was it. I wish compliments paid the rent. FML

Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML

#20745688
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50136) - you deserved it (13812)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by dan (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML

#20731460
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47834) - you deserved it (2906)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend of six days proposed to me. FML

#20708141
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80576) - you deserved it (11143)

On 06/05/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by The Clitshank Redemption (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I had to go with my mom to the gynecologist to translate due to her broken English. As we were filling out papers and answering questions, the doctor asked some very personal questions. I now know everything about my mom's sex life. FML

#20678467
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58448) - you deserved it (6149)

On 05/21/2013 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by knowtoomuch - United States (Colorado)

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

#20575072
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41162) - you deserved it (3733)

On 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a cute guy who works at the mall winked at me. When I met up with my boyfriend, I bragged to him about it. His response was, "Don't flatter yourself, he winked at me too." FML

#20550170
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31610) - you deserved it (15946)

On 03/18/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by amberrenee91 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

#20532616
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40913) - you deserved it (3851)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm - kids - by cjw - United States

Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML

#20526546
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10814) - you deserved it (36857)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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