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JocelynKaulitz

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JocelynKaulitz

30Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8173
  • Number of comments : 428
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Working customer service at Target for over a year has made me hate people.

Name's Jocelyn.

I feel more satisfied when my comments get thumbed down rather than thumbed up, it's different.

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>dk1991</b> - 2 hours ago<b>kingbubbles</b> - 11 hours ago<b>breaking6883</b> - 22 hours ago<b>a_wiener_d0g</b> - yesterday at 1:27pm<b>Devindelon</b> - yesterday at 12:34am<b>sirrubberduckie</b> - yesterday at 12:03am<b>connorgrant98</b> - yesterday at 10:32pm<b>minutepoet</b> - yesterday at 9:34pm<b>emily1015</b> - yesterday at 6:30pm<b>shinklefly</b> - yesterday at 5:43pm<b>brndnmcmillan</b> - yesterday at 5:15pm<b>FBellesLife</b> - yesterday at 4:56pm<b>Ruskiy_Cherep</b> - yesterday at 3:15pm<b>facelick</b> - yesterday at 2:23pm<b>cohenb93</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 1:27pm<b>ashla8613</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:51pm<b>DarkJediLove</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 9:19am<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 8:01am

Liked!<b>FBellesLife</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 4:51am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:05am<b>IamHercules</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 6:35pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 3:22pm<b>RA91</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 11:31pm<b>jalenthesamoan</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 8:29pm<b>a_wiener_d0g</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 4:03am<b>anonymousguy1569</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 2:57am<b>Sophie_K</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 9:55pm<b>osr215</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 11:08pm<b>yeatesj</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:17pm<b>whatshisname1066</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 9:16am<b>gary3768</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 5:36am<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 5:17am<b>minutepoet</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 8:07pm<b>CCRider</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 7:29am<b>kyle8211</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 12:38am<b>cassiecassie559</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 1:23am

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

#20986479
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56962) - you deserved it (4845)

On 12/09/2013 at 4:01pm - misc - by igotpride - United States

Today, I learned that when your mom threatens to embarrass you by singing in public, the wrong response is, "Yeah? I dare you." FML

Today, I was babysitting my barely-pubescent cousins, and they started talking about giving blowjobs to their "boyfriends". When I got mad at them and told them they shouldn't be thinking of that stuff, they said I was just pissed 'cause I haven't gotten laid. FML

#20984257
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48462) - you deserved it (4535)

On 12/07/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by bella - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a call from the girl I like. I got very excited so I quickly picked up. As it turns out, she was actually prank calling me, pretending to be a "liposuction telemarketer" but forgot to press *67. FML

#20980172
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40699) - you deserved it (2932)

On 12/04/2013 at 3:50am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML

#20975844
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45570) - you deserved it (6475)

On 11/30/2013 at 2:21pm - money - by yulis (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

#20975509
100 comments

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

#20970485
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41899) - you deserved it (5203)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59606) - you deserved it (4307)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, I had to explain to my pregnant friend that her plan to get drunk and get a tattoo needed to wait at least 8 months. She then went out for a smoke to calm down. FML

#20966742
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49781) - you deserved it (3760)

On 11/22/2013 at 9:49am - health - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I sent a group text round to my friends asking if they wanted to hang out sometime. One of my friends thought this was aimed directly at her and confessed her love for me. FML

#20966629
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42715) - you deserved it (7684)

On 11/22/2013 at 5:18am - love - by awkwardpaul - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I forgot I left my tampons in a grocery bag packed with food that I put into the fridge. I realized two hours later while frantically looking for a tampon. I'm still cold down there. FML

#20966555
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39497) - you deserved it (11556)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:53am - misc - by InsertPopcicle (woman) - United States

Today, my neighbor finally password-protected his wifi. Right in the middle of my timed, online exam. FML

#20965985
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27104) - you deserved it (85359)

On 11/21/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep at my bus stop following a long day at work. I woke up to a homeless man giggling after he had clipped dozens of clothespins to my clothes, shoes, and hair in my sleep. FML

#20964867
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36008) - you deserved it (7191)

On 11/20/2013 at 7:12pm - misc - by 43_clothespins_later (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

#20961988
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44477) - you deserved it (17984)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States

Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML

#20957459
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41188) - you deserved it (4434)

On 11/14/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by CallmeEddie - United States (Illinois)



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