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JocelynKaulitz

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JocelynKaulitz

16Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7265
  • Number of comments : 420
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Working customer service at Target for over a year has made me hate people.

Name's Jocelyn.

I feel more satisfied when my comments get thumbed down rather than thumbed up, it's different.

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>starcaller17</b> - 17 hours ago<b>Nadron</b> - 18 hours ago<b>Lianess</b> - 22 hours ago<b>TellMeThings</b> - 24 hours ago<b>minutepoet</b> - 24 hours ago<b>newzealand</b> - yesterday at 6:56am<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - yesterday at 5:56am<b>vreid</b> - yesterday at 3:25am<b>CCRider</b> - yesterday at 2:29am<b>i_lol_at_life</b> - yesterday at 2:28am<b>Door_Productions</b> - yesterday at 2:19am<b>johndog699</b> - yesterday at 1:21am<b>TheCuteRabbit</b> - yesterday at 1:21am<b>DragonDude</b> - yesterday at 1:16am<b>adrianvons</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 5:58am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 6:32pm<b>rabidpeach</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 1:13am<b>Zman2017</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 9:39am

Liked!<b>minutepoet</b> - 19 hours ago<b>CCRider</b> - yesterday at 7:29am<b>kyle8211</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 12:38am<b>cassiecassie559</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 1:23am<b>mrchubbz13</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 4:49pm<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 3:52pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 7:11am<b>crockracks</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 4:48pm<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 3:33am<b>Birdbath123</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 11:51am<b>xcarlito615x</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 5:53pm<b>Thenextguyover</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 12:12pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 11:11am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:48pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 4:23pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 9:04pm

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that when I asked my buddy to make sure my girlfriend was safe while I was abroad, he really did; he even used a condom. FML

#21268339
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43368) - you deserved it (3971)

On 09/30/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, while running an event, my belt loop got caught in those metal whorls that outdoor chairs have. I couldn't get it undone and had to greet guests by standing up and bringing the chair with me, hanging from my ass. My coworker finally had to cut the belt loop to set me free. FML

#21266851
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28548) - you deserved it (3485)

On 09/28/2014 at 7:40am - work - by Abbynyc - United States (New York)

Today, I can't go on watching season 8 of The Big Bang Theory, not because of the steady decline of the show's quality, but because I can't stand Penny's new haircut. FML

#21263705
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28871) - you deserved it (17160)

On 09/23/2014 at 8:48am - misc - by shelookslikemiley - Australia

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39232) - you deserved it (5574)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31621) - you deserved it (18204)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I woke up to find a huge zit directly between my two eyebrows. My friends have started calling me "The North Star." FML

#21253662
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34880) - you deserved it (3235)

On 09/07/2014 at 11:55am - health - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", honey. FML

#21253313
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38829) - you deserved it (3412)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by healthfreak - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML

#21252547
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34500) - you deserved it (16208)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML

#21251846
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41335) - you deserved it (8247)

On 09/04/2014 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by candy man - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

#21249014
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44655) - you deserved it (4481)

On 08/31/2014 at 11:14am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50625) - you deserved it (9734)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37574) - you deserved it (6748)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42078) - you deserved it (5970)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42078) - you deserved it (5970)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States



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