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JocelynKaulitz

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JocelynKaulitz

56Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10219
  • Number of comments : 447
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Just keeping it irie.

Name's Jocelyn!

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>scottyboy417</b> - 8 hours ago<b>atrumX</b> - 8 hours ago<b>hellalegit</b> - 11 hours ago<b>kongeavpluto</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Nordrag</b> - 15 hours ago<b>benjamins39</b> - 16 hours ago<b>bushytomatoe</b> - 20 hours ago<b>LilCheeno</b> - 20 hours ago<b>tj4234</b> - 20 hours ago<b>rafa015</b> - 20 hours ago<b>Bi_ShrDiWun</b> - 22 hours ago<b>facelick</b> - 22 hours ago<b>frostedfoster</b> - 23 hours ago<b>iSativa</b> - 24 hours ago<b>swmmrrnr</b> - 24 hours ago<b>powerkeep</b> - 24 hours ago<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - yesterday at 9:16am<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 8:42am

Liked!<b>atrumX</b> - 2 hours ago<b>powerkeep</b> - 18 hours ago<b>Corey122726</b> - 20 hours ago<b>elusiveshame</b> - 22 hours ago<b>martin8337</b> - 22 hours ago<b>hardesty</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 4:29am<b>pks2014</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 2:46am<b>kooljac702</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:05pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 5:11am<b>Hertyn</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 12:09am<b>papygeorges</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 11:00am<b>allstarrider</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 1:24pm<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 1:08pm<b>tyler1916</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 2:00pm<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 3:20am<b>morondon000</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 8:49am<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 10:17am<b>Murkyy</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 1:40pm

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

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Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, instead of taking down the Christmas tree, my sister covered it with Valentine's Day decorations. FML

Today, I went on my first date in over 4 years with a smoking hot guy. The big event was a trip to Target. I work at Target. He took me to my workplace for our date. And they say romance is dead. FML

Today, my dad and I were having a conversation about boneless chicken. He told me that they are raised boneless, going into detail, and I bought every word of it. Not until he started laughing did I realize how gullible I really am. I'm 22. FML

#21344889
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15216) - you deserved it (25554)

On 01/27/2015 at 12:43am - misc - by katrina2d (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that, due to the walls at my uni dorm being ridiculously thin, my entire flat overheard me lose my virginity. Spanking and all. FML

#21344108
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28007) - you deserved it (8291)

On 01/25/2015 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by Orgasmataz (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I drove my dad to Walmart to do some shopping. His leg is still in a cast after an accident, so I helped him to the last mobility scooter. A guy whose only disability was clearly Fat-Fuck Syndrome then yelled at us, claiming he needed it more and that my dad was a faker. FML

#21343482
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33479) - you deserved it (2079)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:25pm - misc - by Elrond Hubbard (man) - United States

Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML

#21343098
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31125) - you deserved it (3730)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by xoragebaby - United States

Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML

#21342882
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30586) - you deserved it (4139)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:12pm - misc - by Annomymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I texted my boyfriend a few dirty messages at lunch time and told him how badly I wanted him home. He texted back lecturing me on how I shouldn't be so drunk so early. I was totally sober, but now I need a drink. FML

#21340989
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31872) - you deserved it (4563)

On 01/20/2015 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by fun in functioning, I suppose - United States (Mississippi)

Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah... I think we're done with that. FML

#21340673
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28990) - you deserved it (3494)

On 01/19/2015 at 11:42pm - intimacy - by BDSM4Jesus - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my crush was giving me a ride home. As we pulled up to my house, he looked into my eyes with a sweet smile and said the words every girl wants to hear - "Do you give head?" FML

#21339980
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35356) - you deserved it (5291)

On 01/19/2015 at 12:35am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad was fixing my wardrobe and pushed too hard, causing stuff to fall from the top shelves. I saw it happen with my own eyes, but he's dead-set convinced that it was some kind of poltergeist fucking with him, and now he doesn't want me to go in my room. FML

#21338219
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26837) - you deserved it (2088)

On 01/16/2015 at 11:22am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

#21335128
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17956) - you deserved it (26415)

On 01/11/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend and I were going to sext before going to sleep. It was very late, but I said I'd stay up for him. He sent a text asking me if I was ready. Me replying "yes" was the last thing I remember before I fell asleep on my horny boyfriend. FML

#21334154
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28731) - you deserved it (8821)

On 01/09/2015 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

#21330185
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35342) - you deserved it (6657)

On 01/03/2015 at 7:23pm - love - by allgassedout (man) - United States (California)



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