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JocelynKaulitz

Offline (yesterday at 11:10am) | Search for a member

JocelynKaulitz

67Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11587
  • Number of comments : 452
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Just keeping it irie.

Name's Jocelyn!

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>Edogg215</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 8:52pm<b>jguseman</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 4:45pm<b>izkiz</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 6:11pm<b>DeathofCareBear</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 5:13pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 8:36pm<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 7:41am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 6:10pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 8:20am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:20am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:17am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 4:21am<b>Sobe_1900</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 12:38am<b>ostark</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 11:29pm<b>underthesea12</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 12:02pm<b>Soccerboi15</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 1:00am<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 7:10pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 11:51am<b>thrasher590</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 11:44pm

Fucked!<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 1:41pm<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:21am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 7:34am<b>Raltizal</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 5:22pm<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 5:19am<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:35am<b>ali282h</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 3:31am<b>rjc490</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 4:58pm<b>tot5t</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 8:00pm<b>natyemi15</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 5:08pm<b>erjgyflover</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 8:25pm<b>atrumX</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 8:07am<b>powerkeep</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 4:09pm<b>Corey122726</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 2:21pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 12:37pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 11:57am<b>pks2014</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 2:46am<b>kooljac702</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:05pm

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

#21372045
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (210) - you deserved it (47848)

On 03/10/2015 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML

#21371826
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27060) - you deserved it (6356)

On 03/10/2015 at 12:45pm - health - by parkoursam - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom demanded that I go into the basement and fix the water heater. I told her that I had no idea how to fix it, so she threw my phone down the stairs, told me to Google it, and locked the basement door behind me. It's been two hours. FML

#21371408
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78) - you deserved it (2403)

On 03/09/2015 at 8:28pm - misc - by MyMomIsInsane - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my little sister complained about a young boy in her class always pulling her hair. She asked when boys will stop doing it. My mom replied, "They won't, even when they're grown-ups," then looked over at my dad and shared a dirty smirk. FML

#21369959
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35747) - you deserved it (3260)

On 03/07/2015 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by greatly disturbed - United States (California)

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69) - you deserved it (19)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was turned down from the dream job that I was promised two years ago, once my chemo and radiation therapy was finished. His excuse? He never actually expected me to survive. FML

#21366066
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45926) - you deserved it (2110)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:36pm - work - by kysier (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18750) - you deserved it (55411)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29640) - you deserved it (3159)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
462 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44384) - you deserved it (4022)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's 1 year old. FML

#21360646
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33397) - you deserved it (2331)

On 02/21/2015 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed. I really want to help her out while she recovers, but her swollen cheeks combined with her natural buck teeth keep making me crack up every time I see her. I can't help it and I'm now in the doghouse. FML

#21360286
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22871) - you deserved it (29017)

On 02/21/2015 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I drove alone for the first time since I passed my test. I kept getting weird looks from other drivers and got pulled over by a cop. He said I was clearly underage and was sure my license was fake. Almost half an hour later, he finally let me go. I hate having a baby-face. FML

#21359872
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31003) - you deserved it (2286)

On 02/20/2015 at 3:00pm - misc - by all tweened out (man) - Canada

Today, my extremely hot coworker told me that I smelled good. At a complete loss for words, I replied, "Oh, I'm sure I don't." FML

#21359386
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27480) - you deserved it (4816)

On 02/19/2015 at 7:14pm - misc - by thisiswhyimavirgin (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

#21356336
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36575) - you deserved it (5085)

On 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by jessybear777 - United States (Missouri)



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