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JocelynKaulitz

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JocelynKaulitz

48Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9410
  • Number of comments : 443
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Just keeping it irie.

Name's Jocelyn!

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>Alixari</b> - 10 hours ago<b>MetalxSoldier</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Fennex3</b> - 21 hours ago<b>whereismyb4con</b> - yesterday at 1:09am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - yesterday at 12:15am<b>IamHercules</b> - yesterday at 4:03pm<b>badnelly123</b> - yesterday at 1:16pm<b>kingkobrastrikes</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 11:13am<b>sweetnsourrr</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 9:41pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 8:36am<b>helloyes</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 6:58am<b>reezy1978</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 10:16pm<b>thecman25</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 5:21pm<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 12:49pm<b>Dosenpfand</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 11:35am<b>dariella</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 1:10am<b>Zowada1</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 7:45pm<b>averagefosho</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 3:28pm

Liked!<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 5:11am<b>Hertyn</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 12:09am<b>papygeorges</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 11:00am<b>allstarrider</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 1:24pm<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 1:08pm<b>tyler1916</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 2:00pm<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 3:20am<b>morondon000</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 8:49am<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 10:17am<b>Murkyy</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 1:40pm<b>mikethekid</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 9:56pm<b>MissEris</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 1:38pm<b>whereismyb4con</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 11:46am<b>skyttlz</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 9:19am<b>isaias56</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 8:41pm<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 5:08pm<b>twistedtwincity</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 4:43pm<b>jelrid</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 2:49pm

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, as I left the supermarket, I found someone had hit my car in the parking lot. There was a note tucked under the wipers. Insurance details? Nope. It just said "Sorry dude. I fucked up. Good luck with the car." Great. FML

#21330094
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28158) - you deserved it (1779)

On 01/03/2015 at 4:16pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML

#21329473
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29077) - you deserved it (8591)

On 01/02/2015 at 5:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was brushing my teeth. When it came time for me to spit, I absentmindedly opened the bathroom drawer and spat in there instead of in the sink. FML

#21328982
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24599) - you deserved it (11228)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:38pm - misc - by 30000 - United States (California)

Today, I went on a first date, only for us to find the restaurant wasn't open on New Year's Day. My date suggested going to the mall instead. We drove in our own cars. Me: the mall, him: home. I waited for 40 minutes before realising he'd stood me up. Happy New Year to me. FML

#21328493
77 comments

Today, my mom and I went to exchange a massive stuffed animal, which was meant for my niece. I was carrying it when I saw a really hot guy looking at me funny. My mom snickered and told him that I never go anywhere without "George". FML

#21325643
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31093) - you deserved it (2878)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:52am - misc - by thanks a lot mom - United States (California)

Today, my mom finally got a Netflix account after months of me begging. When I asked her what the login was, she refused to give it to me. She said, "Netflix will know it's not me and then they'll cancel our account." FML

Today, I got into a fight with my sister. Later on she brought me a bowl of tortilla chips, which I thought was her way of apologizing. I found out too late that she'd licked the flavoring off them and it was really her way of saying "Fuck you." FML

#21325373
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28408) - you deserved it (4238)

On 12/27/2014 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my 7-year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of the supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

#21321028
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29495) - you deserved it (3166)

On 12/20/2014 at 5:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I had my midterm finals for AP Literature. My teacher had good news and bad news for us. The bad news? That he lost the file for our original exam and so had to make a harder exam for us. An exam he told us not to study for. The good news? "Jesus Christ suffered and died for our sins." FML

#21319606
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32446) - you deserved it (3037)

On 12/18/2014 at 7:11am - misc - by subversivepanda (woman) - Guam

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mom told me how lucky I was to inherit her "asymptomatic" periods. It's true, I don't get cramps, bloating or mood swings with my periods. Nope, just excruciatingly painful diarrhea. Thanks, mom. FML

#21318154
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30336) - you deserved it (2505)

On 12/15/2014 at 8:23pm - misc - by period_probs (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37740) - you deserved it (3612)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, at the fast food joint I work at, I had to climb into the children's play area and chase out two horny teens who thought it was an appropriate place to stick their hands down each other's pants and fool around. I don't get paid enough for this shit. FML

Today, my neighbor showed me footage of my 7-year-old son spraying his beloved rose garden with weed killer. The whole garden is dead as fuck, and I'm now being taken to small claims court. FML

#21311905
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30884) - you deserved it (6377)

On 12/05/2014 at 8:44am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45487) - you deserved it (11771)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML

#21309102
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33229) - you deserved it (5761)

On 11/30/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by fishtacos (woman) - United States (California)



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