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JocelynKaulitz

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JocelynKaulitz

33Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8290
  • Number of comments : 429
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Working customer service at Target for over a year has made me hate people.

Name's Jocelyn.

I feel more satisfied when my comments get thumbed down rather than thumbed up, it's different.

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>S0ulBaby</b> - 2 minutes ago<b>noway1987</b> - 9 minutes ago<b>qwertydude1</b> - 34 minutes ago<b>Heisenburg14</b> - 37 minutes ago<b>battlehamster</b> - 38 minutes ago<b>phantom_hobo</b> - 46 minutes ago<b>noobsatin</b> - one hour ago<b>thecoon99</b> - one hour ago<b>Jaredphamtom</b> - one hour ago<b>georgemac</b> - 2 hours ago<b>gabechriswill</b> - 2 hours ago<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - 3 hours ago<b>tbloom</b> - 3 hours ago<b>DarkJediLove</b> - 4 hours ago<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - 4 hours ago<b>MaDCrackeT</b> - 4 hours ago<b>twistedtwincity</b> - 4 hours ago<b>acidinsomniac</b> - 4 hours ago

Liked!<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - just now<b>twistedtwincity</b> - just now<b>jelrid</b> - just now<b>FBellesLife</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 4:51am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:05am<b>IamHercules</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 6:35pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 3:22pm<b>RA91</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 11:31pm<b>jalenthesamoan</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 8:29pm<b>a_wiener_d0g</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 4:03am<b>anonymousguy1569</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 2:57am<b>Sophie_K</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 9:55pm<b>osr215</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 11:08pm<b>yeatesj</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:17pm<b>whatshisname1066</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 9:16am<b>gary3768</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 5:36am<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 5:17am<b>minutepoet</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 8:07pm

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, my 7-year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of the supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

#21321028
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10926) - you deserved it (1270)

On 12/20/2014 at 5:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I had my midterm finals for AP Literature. My teacher had good news and bad news for us. The bad news? That he lost the file for our original exam and so had to make a harder exam for us. An exam he told us not to study for. The good news? "Jesus Christ suffered and died for our sins." FML

#21319606
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28528) - you deserved it (2647)

On 12/18/2014 at 7:11am - misc - by subversivepanda (woman) - Guam

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mom told me how lucky I was to inherit her "asymptomatic" periods. It's true, I don't get cramps, bloating or mood swings with my periods. Nope, just excruciatingly painful diarrhea. Thanks, mom. FML

#21318154
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28281) - you deserved it (2403)

On 12/15/2014 at 8:23pm - misc - by period_probs (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36541) - you deserved it (3595)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, at the fast food joint I work at, I had to climb into the children's play area and chase out two horny teens who thought it was an appropriate place to stick their hands down each other's pants and fool around. I don't get paid enough for this shit. FML

Today, my neighbor showed me footage of my 7-year-old son spraying his beloved rose garden with weed killer. The whole garden is dead as fuck, and I'm now being taken to small claims court. FML

#21311905
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30489) - you deserved it (6341)

On 12/05/2014 at 8:44am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42440) - you deserved it (10770)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML

#21309102
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31114) - you deserved it (4971)

On 11/30/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by fishtacos (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home late from work. As I got out of my car, I noticed a child-shaped silhouette in my bedroom window. I almost shat myself, since I live alone. I searched the whole house, sobbing in fear, only to find no trace of whatever or whoever I'd seen. FML

#21306286
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38128) - you deserved it (3148)

On 11/26/2014 at 3:45pm - misc - by void bowels() { cry(); } (man) - United Kingdom (Caerphilly)

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML

#21297408
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44021) - you deserved it (3846)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I was waiting in line at the check out, some guy came up behind me, plucked a hair out of my head, and ran off with it. FML

#21295452
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31344) - you deserved it (2544)

On 11/09/2014 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML

#21295420
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37565) - you deserved it (4668)

On 11/09/2014 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML

#21295420
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37565) - you deserved it (4668)

On 11/09/2014 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my anxiety got so bad that when I stole a sword in Skyrim and resisted arrest, I had a full-on panic attack as I ran away. I ended up curling up on the sofa as my character got hacked to death on the TV. FML

#21294889
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29423) - you deserved it (7549)

On 11/08/2014 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous S'wit (man) - Portugal

Today, I was getting everything ready for mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new bed sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML

#21294602
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44482) - you deserved it (3154)

On 11/08/2014 at 9:09am - intimacy - by betterthanhodor - United Kingdom (Suffolk)



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