Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 August 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13514
  • Number of comments : 469
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About JocelynKaulitz : Just keeping it irie.

Name's Jocelyn!

JocelynKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>nomoregoodones</b> - yesterday at 8:49pm<b>rushabh97</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 4:26pm<b>gratunka</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 9:57pm<b>edmunson</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 7:53pm<b>Robert3Lee</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 3:47pm<b>Sleepwalking713</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 2:52pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 1:48pm<b>niallo</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 11:38am<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 11:20am<b>christopherwilli</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 10:36am<b>s1s1</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 10:28am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 7:50am<b>pickle682</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 6:49am<b>srinathmatti</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 2:24am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 5:00pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 10:42pm<b>Abskb1</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 3:40am<b>ncbeach22</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 10:16am

Fucked!<b>rushabh97</b> - yesterday at 10:29pm<b>edmunson</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 1:54am<b>ncbeach22</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 6:29pm<b>xnighttrain21x</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 5:37pm<b>earlytermination</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 6:21am<b>xninix</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 7:43am<b>newzealand</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 7:58am<b>Shinybaconplays</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 6:04am<b>Twill3422</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 5:46am<b>Feel_Like_Im</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 4:33am<b>StormfrontX33</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 2:04am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 7:47pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 5:21pm<b>gqlmno</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 4:39pm<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 3:37am<b>fastman19</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 1:48pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 2:04am<b>Lct1196</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 4:39pm

JocelynKaulitz's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of JocelynKaulitz's badges

JocelynKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, at the swimming pool, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up on my 5-year-old daughter underwater and surprise her. I grabbed her by the sides, and she shrieked. A moment later, a brown cloud erupted from her swimsuit. Cue screaming and a mass panic from the other kids. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19654) - you deserved it (9830)

On 10/03/2015 at 3:00am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30867) - you deserved it (3948)

On 06/04/2015 at 8:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 14 year old brother and 9 year old sister were fighting. My brother said "You suck!" to my sister, and she replied with "You swallow!" FML

Today, some guy I passed in the street was so high out of his mind, he beat the crap out of me, thinking I was a piñata. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29848) - you deserved it (2607)

On 05/27/2015 at 10:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico

Today, my dad drove me to the airport. As I got out of the car, he said, "You better pop that zit on your face, security might think it's a bomb". FML


I agree, your life sucks (31683) - you deserved it (3087)

On 05/08/2015 at 9:44am - misc - by brittrus - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29197) - you deserved it (3434)

On 05/01/2015 at 4:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I was home alone and tried to make some popcorn so I could watch a movie. Thirty minutes later, my parents came home and found me talking to the firemen. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28140) - you deserved it (8482)

On 04/23/2015 at 9:43am - misc - by almost_a_pro - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34964) - you deserved it (5606)

On 04/16/2015 at 1:04am - intimacy - by Evra (woman) - United States

Today, I heard my 2-year-old sister crying, so I left my room to comfort her. She looked at me, held my hand, escorted me back to my room and closed the door. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31454) - you deserved it (2903)

On 04/13/2015 at 6:46am - kids - by transcendingnerd (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I filled out an online application for a internship. I didn't have all the info I need to complete it, but it wouldn't let me leave anything blank so to move along I filled in crap answers. I pressed "Save". It sent my draft in. I now have to explain that "Jesus" isn't actually my reference. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17010) - you deserved it (22531)

On 04/13/2015 at 1:20am - work - by unprofessional - United States (Oregon)

Today, the only way I can get my boyfriend to do anything is by telling him it's a turn on. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29191) - you deserved it (4103)

On 04/12/2015 at 9:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I caught my teenage daughter doing her laundry for the first time ever. She had piles of black and white, but then she threw them together in the washing machine. I told her blacks and whites were supposed to be separate, but she just said, "End the segregation, mom." FML


I agree, your life sucks (31166) - you deserved it (5691)

On 04/12/2015 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my family and friends all laugh and compare me to Spongebob behind my back. Why? Because I'm 37 and still can't pass my driver's test. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29181) - you deserved it (17488)

On 04/11/2015 at 3:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after over six weeks of not getting a single shift at my part time job, I finally went in to meet my new manager. He didn't even know I existed. Apparently my old manager lied and said I quit so they hired someone else. FML

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML
  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: