About Jizzicack : Mother · fiancé · daughter · sister
Jizzicack's FML badges
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Jizzicack's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 1:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML
by rollergirl13 / 01/11/2014 at 12:55am / United States (Alaska) / Love
by madib33 / 01/11/2014 at 12:49am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML
by lukas / 01/10/2014 at 7:24pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
by Anonymous / 01/09/2014 at 12:59pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by BornToBeABurden / 01/09/2014 at 11:01am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
by loganHchrist / 01/08/2014 at 7:53pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
by tpj24 / 01/07/2014 at 7:00pm / United States (Iowa) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/06/2014 at 2:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/26/2013 at 12:27pm / United States (Alabama) / Love
by yarenis / 12/24/2013 at 5:45am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by zamwow / 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML
by gymgirl / 12/17/2013 at 6:48pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML
by LadyLola / 11/25/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/23/2013 at 12:04pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
- Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at… Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower.… Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night…