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Jivesliven's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Jivesliven's favorite FMLs
by gabbykinz13 / 03/08/2012 at 4:48pm / United States / Love
Today, at work, we had an extremely rude customer who started cussing at us, and my coworker started cussing back. I jumped on the register to quickly bring down the line, and apologized to everyone for the scene. A secret shopper was in the line and claimed that I was rude. I got written up. FML
by Anonymous / 03/07/2012 at 1:46am / United States / Work
by FootyFoot / 03/06/2012 at 6:50am / Australia (South Australia) / Health
by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 2:18pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by mary / 02/21/2012 at 10:33am / Australia / Health
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
by lotrgeek / 02/13/2012 at 8:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by annon / 02/11/2012 at 1:23am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/10/2012 at 8:06pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/10/2012 at 4:07pm / Belgium (Brabant Wallon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my first shower in weeks after having had spinal surgery. My sister flushed a toilet. I couldn't reach the nozzle or my cane to get off the shower bench, and all I could do was sit there as scalding hot water sprayed all over me. FML
by Ouchies / 02/09/2012 at 12:28pm / United States (Colorado) / Health
Today, I accidentally dropped a sculpture at college, and it broke. Some weirdo wearing a pink cape and a fake moustache bitched me out and told me not to be such an attention-seeking drama queen. FML
by Anonymous / 02/08/2012 at 12:55pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, I bought my mother an apple pie. She made a face at it and said that she'd decided to go on a diet. After I'd left the house, she put it in the oven, forgot about it, and burnt it to a crisp. She then called me up to inform me that I'd wasted my money, and to get her "another damn pie." FML
by 3.14 / 02/08/2012 at 6:27am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/07/2012 at 7:04am / United States / Health
by Madzison / 02/06/2012 at 5:08am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by Mrs. Man / 02/02/2012 at 1:29pm / United States (Iowa) / Love
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification…
- Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I… Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse… Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to…
- Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, during a family dinner with my grandparents, I showed them some pictures. One was a picture…