Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Jivesliven

Offline (yesterday at 7:26pm) | Search for a member

Jivesliven

2Fucked!

JiveslivenJivesliven
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 30 July 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4855
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Jivesliven's page activity

Visits<b>Tiaxlnr</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 8:28pm<b>illmatic2</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 6:01am<b>Incroyalzz</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 12:39am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 5:03pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 5:18pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 1:23pm<b>Raxy</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 1:59am<b>freezingmylife</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 4:00pm<b>CTPope74</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 7:59pm<b>GoodGuyForSure</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 12:42am<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 2:55am<b>avarland</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 6:43am<b>thisgirl111111</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 3:58am<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 3:19pm<b>chrisd007</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 11:10pm<b>Girosrabing</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 7:09pm<b>IceMan11</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 11:13am<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 10:32am

Fucked!<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 10:32am<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 7:23pm

Jivesliven's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Jivesliven's badges

Jivesliven's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my wedding day. When my soon-to-be-husband was saying his vows, he didn't say my name. He said his mother's. FML

#20001581
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31767) - you deserved it (2112)

On 08/04/2012 at 2:00am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, it was my wedding day. When my soon-to-be-husband was saying his vows, he didn't say my name. He said his mother's. FML

#20001581
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31767) - you deserved it (2112)

On 08/04/2012 at 2:00am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, it was my wedding day. When my soon-to-be-husband was saying his vows, he didn't say my name. He said his mother's. FML

#20001581
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31767) - you deserved it (2112)

On 08/04/2012 at 2:00am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML

#19998761
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28645) - you deserved it (3081)

On 08/02/2012 at 5:08pm - misc - by danonno (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up to find my cat has gone into heat. Her favorite thing to do right now is sticking her ass in my face and howling like a Nazgûl. FML

#19992743
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22958) - you deserved it (4441)

On 07/30/2012 at 2:05pm - animals - by soph511 (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, when I woke up, I noticed something crawling on my bed. A white faced wasp was dragging the corpse of a rather large spider. I'm not sure what I was more disturbed about; the fact that the wasp was dragging something twice its size, or that these bugs even live in my house. FML

#19942968
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27727) - you deserved it (2086)

On 07/15/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by klanciee - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, when I woke up, I noticed something crawling on my bed. A white faced wasp was dragging the corpse of a rather large spider. I'm not sure what I was more disturbed about; the fact that the wasp was dragging something twice its size, or that these bugs even live in my house. FML

#19942968
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27727) - you deserved it (2086)

On 07/15/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by klanciee - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML

#19942597
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44012) - you deserved it (2107)

On 07/15/2012 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML

#19936379
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14594) - you deserved it (30989)

On 07/14/2012 at 7:15am - intimacy - by zstarr - United States (Georgia)

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML

#19913255
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29781) - you deserved it (3977)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:31am - kids - by LNamesOnly (man) - Australia

Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a diet coke?" FML

#19895683
348 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40568) - you deserved it (9645)

On 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, after backpacking acrossing Europe for a month, I picked up my dog from the doghouse. No one will listen to me or acknowledge the fact that he's now missing two toes. FML

#19895009
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36425) - you deserved it (2593)

On 07/05/2012 at 12:30pm - animals - by tagteam - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I'm going to court to give an eyewitness account of a robbery. Unfortunately, I had a wacky dream last night concerning the robbery, and no longer have any idea of what actually happened in real life. FML

#19884306
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32905) - you deserved it (3597)

On 07/03/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by Dreamer (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML

#19884123
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37872) - you deserved it (2542)

On 07/03/2012 at 1:36am - misc - by needmorelocks - United States (California)

Today, not only does my cat rabidly attack my face if I don't let him sleep on my pillow, but he snores too. FML

#19874038
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20407) - you deserved it (5124)

On 07/01/2012 at 12:30am - animals - by emi -



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: