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Jirekianu2's favorite FMLs
by sickandtiredofit / 01/24/2012 at 2:50pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by emma209 / 01/24/2012 at 1:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
Today, my girlfriend told me we've just been fuck buddies for the entire year we've been "together." This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't working up the courage to propose to her on our anniversary. FML
by anonymous / 01/23/2012 at 10:59am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was accepted into a police academy. I called my girlfriend of 2 years, who was supportive through the process. She promptly broke up with me, stating, "You'll be really busy in the academy, and I can't marry a police officer. Its a dangerous job." And then called me selfish for "doing this to us." FML
by FuturePolice / 01/23/2012 at 4:56am / United States (California) / Work
by Jeff G. / 01/22/2012 at 7:31pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love
Today, I woke up to the sound of a Suburban crashing through my fence and striking the tree in my front yard. After filling out the police report, the driver repeatedly asked me to give him a lift to work. He seemed confused by my speechlessness. FML
by Anonymous / 01/22/2012 at 12:57pm / United States (Nevada) / Transportation
by addicted2v / 01/21/2012 at 8:25am / United States (New York) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/16/2012 at 3:02pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, after over a year of lifestyle changes and a ritualistic exercise regime, I finally reached my goal weight. I excitedly told my boyfriend, and he responded, "Yeah, that's nice, but now your tits are tiny". FML
by Anonymous / 01/16/2012 at 8:10am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2012 at 1:24am / United States (California) / Love
by 2gewd4u / 01/14/2012 at 8:24pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML
by Anonymous / 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I met my son for the first time since I had to put him up for adoption over two decades ago. I wanted to make amends and get to know him. Instead, all I got to know was how well he can throw a punch. FML
by me / 01/13/2012 at 8:38pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/13/2012 at 5:58pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I… Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to… Today, my wife came home drunk, telling me all about this amazing man she met at the club with her…