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Jirekianu2's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 1:49am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that my parents changed the code on our alarm system while they were out of town. The police could not verify I was their son, despite spending hours trying to get hold of them. They thought it was just another telemarketer. FML
by Anonymous / 09/23/2012 at 10:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was driving home on the highway with my wife and her parents. As I overtook another car, a rock got kicked up into our windshield. My wife screamed about the crack it created, while my mother-in-law goaded her on and mocked my "piss-poor driving." FML
by future MIL slasher / 09/23/2012 at 5:05pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, my ex-girlfriend sent me an email. I was excited that she wanted to make amends for cheating on me before I dumped her. No, the email had a photo of her making out with the guy she cheated on me with, and the caption, "What you wish you still had". FML
by max5 / 09/08/2012 at 2:19pm / France (Aquitaine) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/05/2012 at 9:34pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a job interview. The interviewer spoke to me for a few minutes, then said she would be right back, and left. I was left alone in a room for an hour and a half believing that it was a patience test. They closed the store for the day, leaving me in the interview room. FML
by Anonymous / 08/24/2012 at 11:31pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML
by mikeissad / 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by Blackfell / 08/07/2012 at 1:59pm / United States / Love
Today, my fiancée's OCD hit a new low when she screamed at me for flicking the light-switch off "the wrong way". This led to her flicking it on and off about a dozen times, followed by a twenty-minute lecture on how to do it "properly". We're getting married next month. FML
by Anonymous / 07/27/2012 at 5:23pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/15/2012 at 8:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
by checkup / 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Intimacy
Today, I had to slowly explain to my boss that in some parts of the world, it's currently winter, due to the different hemispheres. He scoffed, accused me of "making shit up," and said that if I took him for a fool again, I'd be looking for a new job. FML
by Anonymous / 07/14/2012 at 6:47pm / United States / Work
by LetItRip / 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Miscellaneous
by hotpatata / 07/06/2012 at 11:03am / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, my boyfriend of three months texted me saying he loves me. I excitedly started texting back,… Today, my boyfriend decided to suddenly stop in the middle of sex, just as I was actually starting… Today, whilst working in a pharmacy, I was given the pleasure of listening to an old lady share the…