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Jinxzie's favorite FMLs
by Degueusement / 08/18/2014 at 12:48am / Intimacy
by MaddyN / 07/08/2014 at 12:26am / United States (Oregon) / Work
by Anonymous / 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals
by Not-pregnant / 04/20/2014 at 1:21pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/01/2014 at 9:32pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Animals
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML
by everyoneheard / 03/28/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by Apes / 03/25/2013 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML
by lesson.learned / 01/21/2013 at 4:39pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Love
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML
by PUA / 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by Anon / 11/14/2011 at 3:45am / United States (Nevada) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/23/2011 at 6:41am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I got a text message from a number I don't know saying "I'm sorry, but I'm cheating on you, I couldn't do this in person because you're ugly when you cry." I haven't had a relationship in 6 years and I still manage to get dumped. FML
by j_babydoll6520 / 08/26/2011 at 7:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…