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JinxxieCat

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JinxxieCat

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 53
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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JinxxieCat's favorite FMLs

Today, I went for my follow-up appointment with my surgeon. He walked into the room and said, "I thought you died." FML

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23978) - you deserved it (2785)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

#20071617
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23474) - you deserved it (1929)

On 09/14/2012 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's been a week since I've been in hospital. No one has been to visit me. The nurses have nicknamed me "The Lonely One." FML

#20071345
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27102) - you deserved it (1617)

On 09/14/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by lonely one - United States

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

#20068529
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23904) - you deserved it (3655)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:03am - kids - by AGeeksWife (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44483) - you deserved it (3886)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

#20066447
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19714) - you deserved it (7086)

On 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm - work - by kevcng (man) - United States

Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML

#20064184
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7327) - you deserved it (21483)

On 09/09/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML

Today, I finished my shopping at Costco, and realized I had forgotten where I had parked. After scouring the parking lot for 20 minutes, I called the police and filed a report for a stolen vehicle. I then remembered I had bought a new car yesterday and parked it right next to the entrance. FML

#20044345
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7191) - you deserved it (32421)

On 08/27/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by dgilbs - United States (Michigan)

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35678) - you deserved it (10404) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that two kids were able to, without much effort, convince my 16-year-old daughter that her friend's house was used to smuggle out Jews during WWII. His house was built in 2007. We also live in America. FML

#20033419
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23377) - you deserved it (2934)

On 08/21/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States

Today, my pregnant wife broke down in tears over the fact that since moving to Brazil for my job, we don't have regular access to macaroni and cheese. FML

#20032360
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21580) - you deserved it (5552)

On 08/20/2012 at 6:06pm - health - by stupidbullcrêpe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I had to go down to the county police department to bail out my kids who thought it would be a good idea to try mugging an ice cream truck driver. FML

#20032351
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20064) - you deserved it (4095)

On 08/20/2012 at 6:02pm - kids - by Demetria (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered how pathetically introverted I am when during a car ride with my family, I said, "I really like this song" and my parents gasped because they didn't realize I was in the back seat. And I'm their only child. FML

#20005160
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25018) - you deserved it (2065)

On 08/06/2012 at 1:41am - misc - by mississippi123 - United States (California)



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