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JimMorrisonROX

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JimMorrisonROX

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Visits<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 3:03pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 9:35am<b>ginger196</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 5:39pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 10:39pm<b>Faith13</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 3:30am

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JimMorrisonROX's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17504) - you deserved it (13176)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

#21286701
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20436) - you deserved it (26963)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I reprimanded three students for sleeping, five for not having books, and kicked three out for texting in class. One student yelled at me for a bad grade, and another stormed out for a failing exam score. I teach at a four-year university. FML

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

#21286332
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43694) - you deserved it (3307)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States

Today, I went to a big job interview. As I walked in, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Other highlights include my voice cracking multiple times, sweating profusely and getting uncontrollable nervous giggling. The interviewer eventually stared at me in disbelief and asked if I was high. FML

#21285028
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31678) - you deserved it (4220)

On 10/25/2014 at 2:27pm - work - by not on life, that's for fucking sure (man) - United States

Today, I had sex for the first time with my first boyfriend. We broke up 6 years ago. FML

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31599) - you deserved it (3331)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28578) - you deserved it (7381)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

#21280696
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34988) - you deserved it (3377)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got stitches in my breast. I never knew how much they jiggled until every bump on the road made my breast feel like it was on fire. FML

#21278689
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35089) - you deserved it (2454)

On 10/15/2014 at 10:33pm - health - by BoobiePain - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25723) - you deserved it (51565)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML

#21277056
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44342) - you deserved it (2956)

On 10/13/2014 at 5:33pm - health - by clumsylobster - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I received an email from an angry parent, demanding that I give his daughter an A on a project which I had given her a 0 on. The project was to pick an article related to science and to write an essay on it. Hers was a hoax article relating to Ebola patients rising from the dead. FML

#21276337
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34550) - you deserved it (4929)

On 10/12/2014 at 4:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31299) - you deserved it (14392)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the guy I really like acknowledged my existence for the first time. Too bad it was through a text saying "lol ur a fat fukc". FML

#21271187
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34880) - you deserved it (3454)

On 10/05/2014 at 12:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)



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