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JimMorrisonROX

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JimMorrisonROX

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  • Number of visits : 1520
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>reyelisaia</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 7:29am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 3:03pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 9:35am<b>ginger196</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 5:39pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 10:39pm<b>Faith13</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 3:30am

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JimMorrisonROX's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out why my wife has been cold and distant lately. She went to a psycho fraudster - sorry, I mean "psychic medium" - who said I'm lusting after other women and am thinking about leaving her. She actually believed him. Now I'm considering leaving her for real. Well played, I guess. FML

#21312671
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30910) - you deserved it (2956)

On 12/06/2014 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML

#21308219
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34748) - you deserved it (5745)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:08pm - intimacy - by blueballed (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

#21306254
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33805) - you deserved it (5336)

On 11/26/2014 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting to second base with a really hot guy, but I couldn't stop laughing when he said my boobs were "soft like cake." He got so embarrassed that he lost his boner. FML

#21303170
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32383) - you deserved it (8980)

On 11/21/2014 at 4:56am - intimacy - by weirdthingtosay (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML

#21293677
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29563) - you deserved it (13352)

On 11/06/2014 at 8:55pm - animals - by dwood08 - United States (New York)

Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML

#21292742
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35396) - you deserved it (8571)

On 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while my husband and I were having sex, my cat decided to join in on our moans by crying at the door the entire time. He stopped as soon as we finished. FML

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26345) - you deserved it (21788)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

#21286701
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24341) - you deserved it (32170)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

#21286332
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49023) - you deserved it (3471)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States

Today, I went to a big job interview. As I walked in, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Other highlights include my voice cracking multiple times, sweating profusely and getting uncontrollable nervous giggling. The interviewer eventually stared at me in disbelief and asked if I was high. FML

#21285028
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33006) - you deserved it (4258)

On 10/25/2014 at 2:27pm - work - by not on life, that's for fucking sure (man) - United States

Today, I had sex for the first time with my first boyfriend. We broke up 6 years ago. FML

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32227) - you deserved it (3363)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29511) - you deserved it (7817)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

#21280696
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35806) - you deserved it (3584)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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