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Jezzebel1

Offline (the 06/18/2015 at 8:07pm) | Search for a member

Jezzebel1

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 24 May 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1789
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Jezzebel1's page activity

Visits<b>Baucis</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 3:34pm

Jezzebel1's FML badges

Inception

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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Jezzebel1's favorite FMLs

Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML

#21427542
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23551) - you deserved it (11484)

On 06/17/2015 at 11:41am - misc - by HURP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my wife came back from her camping trip with her friends. I decided to help her out by unpacking her stuff while she used the bathroom. It's funny; I never knew that a dildo, a ball gag and an open pack of condoms were considered camping gear. FML

#21427521
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35670) - you deserved it (2576)

On 06/17/2015 at 10:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML

#21425682
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35724) - you deserved it (5996)

On 06/14/2015 at 9:41am - kids - by afather - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I had to wait for my daughter's pet python to finish taking a bath before I could take a shower and go to work. FML

#21425623
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23820) - you deserved it (3376)

On 06/13/2015 at 9:27pm - animals - by patient_mom - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was invited to an adult toy party with co-workers. They started by playing a game called 'Never Ever Have I Ever' about everyone's sexual exploits. My mother is a co-worker. I can never un-hear what I heard. FML

#21425174
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27983) - you deserved it (5759)

On 06/12/2015 at 9:22pm - intimacy - by silverspud - United States (Colorado)

Today, I learned one of life's great lessons: it is possible to squeeze a Ketchup bottle so hard that the plastic breaks and everything lands on your face. FML

#21417490
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22758) - you deserved it (5577)

On 05/29/2015 at 6:58am - misc - by sassy_girl144 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Berkshire)

Today, I was looking at old pictures with my mom and saw one of myself crying in kindergarten. I asked why I was crying. She said that was the day a boy kissed me on the cheek, and I thought I'd gotten pregnant. She then decided to give me the sex talk. FML

#21416031
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29937) - you deserved it (2953)

On 05/26/2015 at 11:40am - intimacy - by shitty shit - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. My mom's reaction was, I shit you not, to tell me to "walk it off". FML

#21403286
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28609) - you deserved it (2358)

On 05/02/2015 at 5:59am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my mom announced my pregnancy to the entire family via Facebook with the post, "Just went from a MILF to a GILF in one moment of unprotected sex." FML

#21401833
101 comments

Today, I caught my teenage daughter doing her laundry for the first time ever. She had piles of black and white, but then she threw them together in the washing machine. I told her blacks and whites were supposed to be separate, but she just said, "End the segregation, mom." FML

#21392458
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30102) - you deserved it (5465)

On 04/12/2015 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

#21389976
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17323) - you deserved it (32361)

On 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm - misc - by S to the HIT (man) - United States (California)

Today, a coworker and I pulled a April Fools' joke on our boss. She "borrowed" his keys and rolled down his window. I took a car window from a scrap yard and sprinkled it on the ground near his door. His response was to kick the nearest object in anger. The nearest object happened to be my car. FML

#21385709
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24196) - you deserved it (9854)

On 04/01/2015 at 1:46pm - work - by TecheyTim - United States (New York)

Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML

#21384188
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27587) - you deserved it (2349)

On 03/30/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by noantiquesforme - United States (California)

Today, I had to teach my grandma how to burn files to CDs. I jokingly said that it doesn't involve literally burning the disks in fire, to which she responded by slapping me and calling me a patronizing brat. FML

#21383501
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23034) - you deserved it (12476)

On 03/29/2015 at 10:03am - misc - by shamwazzlefarznarfnarfwoofbaaa (man) - United States (New York)



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