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JesusOfNazareth

Offline (the 11/02/2014 at 7:45pm) | Search for a member

JesusOfNazareth

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 605
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 33 posted

About JesusOfNazareth : I am a douchenozzle according to everyone else. Crucify me.

JesusOfNazareth's page activity

Visits<b>Tbear11</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 6:12am<b>unicornmeow10</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 12:14am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 7:29pm<b>Lhiah</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 12:08am<b>pinkpig23</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 10:47am<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 5:55pm<b>samm12099</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 12:58pm<b>terri_fran90</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:47pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 6:19pm<b>NinjaDitto623</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 12:30pm<b>zBLAKEz</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 11:04pm<b>Tigre5012</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 2:59pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 1:45pm<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 2:19am<b>BrandyFaye</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 7:33pm<b>mat_sib</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 3:06pm<b>_Mr_PotatoHead_</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:43pm<b>hedgehogman123</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:02pm

JesusOfNazareth's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of JesusOfNazareth's badges

JesusOfNazareth's favorite FMLs

Today, I managed to punch a customer's child as he walked around the corner just as I enthusiastically pointed his mother in the direction of what she was looking for. FML

#21217892
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39249) - you deserved it (3842)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:04am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend of a couple of weeks mixed up my name with his ex wife's name. After he said it, he looked at me and said, "You knew it was going to happen." FML

#21196800
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39117) - you deserved it (6833)

On 07/02/2014 at 11:12pm - love - by thatsnotmyname - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my friend excitedly told me about the number of guys who are romantically interested in her. I realized how pathetic my life is when all I could talk about in turn was the number of coupons I got to use today at the store. FML

#21186709
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40783) - you deserved it (5018)

On 06/24/2014 at 2:38pm - love - by doubleCoupon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to spray my open window with the hose. RIP my laptop, phone, school books, wooden desk, my entire bookshelf, and my carpet. FML

#21183828
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53608) - you deserved it (4680)

On 06/22/2014 at 1:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, while ringing up a girl, I asked for an ID to verify her credit card. She said she forgot it but pulls out her Facebook on her phone to show me it really is hers. FML

Today, I found out how stupid my girlfriend really is. She saw my room for the first time and started yelling at me, calling me racist, white trash for having a Confederate flag hanging on my wall. It's a British flag. FML

#21180829
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17497) - you deserved it (1988)

On 06/19/2014 at 4:04pm - misc - by EmptyGlass (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

#21179835
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55539) - you deserved it (5150)

On 06/18/2014 at 9:14pm - misc - by guest - United States (California)

Today, I was reading butthurt comments about how girl gamers can easily get dates and find love by simply existing. I'm a "girl gamer" who hasn't even found a date, let alone love. I've been looking since I was sixteen. I'm now 27. FML

#21179364
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44824) - you deserved it (7062)

On 06/18/2014 at 12:48pm - love - by AgentRarity (woman) -

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML

#21171266
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42836) - you deserved it (5110)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I took a look at my 9-year-old daughter's diary, thinking it would be full of cute stuff. Instead, it was full of hateful rants against me and my husband, as well the boys at her school, who she called gay because none of them ever hit on her. It seems I've failed as a parent. FML

#21171186
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44410) - you deserved it (17946)

On 06/11/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my drug addict of a roommate convinced herself my red kitten was Pennywise the clown in disguise waiting to kill her, and hit him over the head with a pan. FML

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

#21061692
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52529) - you deserved it (7839)

On 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I watched the Sochi Winter Games online. Excited by an athlete's victory, I yelled out, "YEAH!" to 20-or-so silent coworkers. As if to redeem myself, I then said, "Don't pretend like you're all working you lot!" Our boss was right behind me. FML

#21057961
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22793) - you deserved it (34174) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/12/2014 at 4:47am - work - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML



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