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Offline (the 11/02/2014 at 7:45pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2213
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 33 posted

About JesusOfNazareth : I am a douchenozzle according to everyone else. Crucify me.

JesusOfNazareth's page activity

Visits<b>awwwh</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 4:25pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 9:56am<b>heroqucas</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 5:38am<b>suffermyname</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 1:39am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 12:03pm<b>KingRex</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 2:59pm<b>unicornmeow10</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 1:23am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 6:32am<b>wondercat40</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 3:00pm<b>Fas4wd</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 12:58am<b>Tbear11</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 6:12am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 7:29pm<b>Lhiah</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 12:08am<b>pinkpig23</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 10:47am<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 5:55pm<b>samm12099</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 12:58pm<b>terri_fran90</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:47pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 6:19pm

Fucked!<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 3:56pm<b>unicornmeow10</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 4:58am

JesusOfNazareth's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of JesusOfNazareth's badges

JesusOfNazareth's favorite FMLs

Today, I managed to punch a customer's child as he walked around the corner just as I enthusiastically pointed his mother in the direction of what she was looking for. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 12:04am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, my boyfriend of a couple of weeks mixed up my name with his ex wife's name. After he said it, he looked at me and said, "You knew it was going to happen." FML

by thatsnotmyname / 07/02/2014 at 11:12pm / United States (Mississippi) / Love

Today, my friend excitedly told me about the number of guys who are romantically interested in her. I realized how pathetic my life is when all I could talk about in turn was the number of coupons I got to use today at the store. FML

by doubleCoupon / 06/24/2014 at 2:38pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to spray my open window with the hose. RIP my laptop, phone, school books, wooden desk, my entire bookshelf, and my carpet. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2014 at 1:27am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, while ringing up a girl, I asked for an ID to verify her credit card. She said she forgot it but pulls out her Facebook on her phone to show me it really is hers. FML

by Axelerate / 06/21/2014 at 2:49am / United States (Nevada) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend saw my room for the first time and started yelling at me, calling me racist, white trash for having a Confederate flag hanging on my wall. It's a British flag. FML

by EmptyGlass / 06/19/2014 at 4:04pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

by guest / 06/18/2014 at 9:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was reading butthurt comments about how girl gamers can easily get dates and find love by simply existing. I'm a "girl gamer" who hasn't even found a date, let alone love. I've been looking since I was sixteen. I'm now 27. FML

by AgentRarity / 06/18/2014 at 12:48pm / Love

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 6:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids

Today, I took a look at my 9-year-old daughter's diary, thinking it would be full of cute stuff. Instead, it was full of hateful rants against me and my husband, as well the boys at her school, who she called gay because none of them ever hit on her. It seems I've failed as a parent. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 5:38pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, my drug addict of a roommate convinced herself my red kitten was Pennywise the clown in disguise waiting to kill her, and hit him over the head with a pan. FML

by Blaisey / 04/21/2014 at 1:25pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

by Charlie529 / 02/19/2014 at 10:30am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I watched the Sochi Winter Games online. Excited by an athlete's victory, I yelled out, "YEAH!" to 20-or-so silent coworkers. As if to redeem myself, I then said, "Don't pretend like you're all working you lot!" Our boss was right behind me. FML

by Anonyme / 02/12/2014 at 4:47am / Work

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

by Kaddiscott / 01/20/2014 at 5:12am / Italy (Trentino-Alto Adige) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.