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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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JesusJess

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JesusJess
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 212
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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JesusJess's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML

#6285234 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (17487) - you deserved it (4297)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:57am - misc - by joeheathen (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML

#6098895 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (26226) - you deserved it (2111)

On 11/01/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by WasteOfTime (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I missed my University entrance exam because of heavy traffic. I was stuck at one intersection for over an hour. The real kicker? It took me less than 10 minutes to drive home. FML

#5942414 (52)

I agree, your life sucks (22625) - you deserved it (1878)

On 10/22/2009 at 9:11am - misc - by roadrage (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out my mom is the nude model for an art class at my college. FML

#5942211 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (42267) - you deserved it (1884)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:30am - misc - by scarred - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that my alcoholism has gotten so bad that I rotate liquor stores so the clerks don't think bad about me. FML

#5407765 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (10204) - you deserved it (34599)

On 09/22/2009 at 12:37am - health - by Cpt_Concerned (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked my dad to pick me up from school, he said he couldn't. Why? he was busy playing world of warcraft for the night. I got to walk the 3 hours home while my 49 year old dad played computer games. FML

#5263427 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (35327) - you deserved it (2986)

On 09/14/2009 at 10:56pm - misc - by stupid (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband asked me for permission to have an affair with his hot secretary. FML

#5086077 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (57467) - you deserved it (4280)

On 09/06/2009 at 5:35pm - love - by mandinga (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while I was working in a bar, a very fat drunk guy kept flirting with me. He assumed I liked him because I kept blushing. I didn’t. It’s just been so long since anyone flirted with me that I apparently now cannot control my reactions if a man talks to me. FML

#5079880 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (28149) - you deserved it (4617)

On 09/06/2009 at 11:04am - love - by beccaj_ilh (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (268267) - you deserved it (32434)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891 (490)

I agree, your life sucks (303171) - you deserved it (14536)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792 (843)

I agree, your life sucks (228730) - you deserved it (19504)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML

#507959 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (148885) - you deserved it (15215)

On 03/21/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Michigan)