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JesusFreak227

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JesusFreak227

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  • Number of visits : 146
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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JesusFreak227's page activity

Visits<b>slipstreak</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:15pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 4:27am<b>thomnoah</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 9:34am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 7:41pm

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JesusFreak227's favorite FMLs

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

#21188726
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45335) - you deserved it (5098)

On 06/26/2014 at 12:57am - animals - by Pisser (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while mowing, I found a baby bunny and took a picture of it. 20 minutes later, I accidentally ran over said bunny with the mower. FML

Today, as usual, I stress ate. After having my exams prolonged for an extra week, I ate three extremely large packs of Skittles, and then threw them all up. Taste the rainbow, puke the rainbow. FML

#21048665
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37855) - you deserved it (14100)

On 02/02/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by Sad Student - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

#21045407
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40858) - you deserved it (4440)

On 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

#21016902
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44300) - you deserved it (5167)

On 01/04/2014 at 6:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML

#20899091
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44707) - you deserved it (3846)

On 09/28/2013 at 12:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Serbia

Today, I went to go see my granddad in the hospital and asked if he needed anything. He replied, "I need you to get out and send that hot nurse in, I may be old but I still got it." FML

#20644913
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45523) - you deserved it (6094)

On 05/06/2013 at 4:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

#20460283
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19732) - you deserved it (36387)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

#20171802
166 comments

Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML

#19592995
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24795) - you deserved it (4573)

On 05/08/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by A-64 (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML

#17450169
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30302) - you deserved it (4412)

On 08/12/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by Coldsnap - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

#17115448
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54552) - you deserved it (9314)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML

#14693760
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67991) - you deserved it (3781)

On 01/24/2011 at 12:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Egypt

Today, I found my pet hamster that escaped yesterday, wet and soggy, next to my pet dog. My dog chewed it. FML

#13558401
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25562) - you deserved it (3396)

On 10/23/2010 at 2:22am - animals - by poorhamster - United States (Washington)



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