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Jesus454

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Jesus454

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 42
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Jesus454's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Jesus454's favorite FMLs

Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML

#20649461
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40138) - you deserved it (14523)

On 05/08/2013 at 7:05am - misc - by Sebastian20 (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

#20649343
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50172) - you deserved it (11329)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my water broke while my boyfriend was breaking up with me. FML

#20649270
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73535) - you deserved it (6547)

On 05/08/2013 at 1:41am - health - by Carrie - United States (California)

Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML

#20648219
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42308) - you deserved it (3148)

On 05/07/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by fuckingjesusgran (man) - Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego)

Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML

#20647820
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46129) - you deserved it (4177)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by babs (woman) - United States

Today, I did my small part to help the environment by hanging my clothes outside to dry rather than using the dryer. The birds showed their appreciation by crapping on the majority of my clothes. FML

#20647651
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41005) - you deserved it (12195)

On 05/07/2013 at 1:10pm - animals - by hitchcock2013 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck, his shirt, and his silk sheets. FML

#20647224
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62125) - you deserved it (11978)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Sirah90 (woman) - United States

Today, I was in a bathroom stall and I accidentally dropped my new tampon on the ground. Just as I was about to reach for it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" and then a hand reached under my stall and grabbed it. It was my last one. FML

#20647074
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58920) - you deserved it (4600)

On 05/07/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by the girl next door (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML

#20646351
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30888) - you deserved it (39824)

On 05/06/2013 at 8:52pm - misc - by blondie107 - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to "trip" and fall into this guy I've had a crush on. I missed and fell on my face. He stepped over me and kept walking. FML

#20646330
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24209) - you deserved it (48517)

On 05/06/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by clumsy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML

#20645244
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53181) - you deserved it (4220)

On 05/06/2013 at 11:25am - work - by perfecttiming (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to go see my granddad in the hospital and asked if he needed anything. He replied, "I need you to get out and send that hot nurse in, I may be old but I still got it." FML

#20644913
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45634) - you deserved it (6112)

On 05/06/2013 at 4:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML

#20643732
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20145) - you deserved it (45859)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:30pm - misc - by FML136969 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tried to show my boyfriend's mom a picture of my prom dress on my phone. She scrolled to the right to find a picture of her son, naked. FML

#20642331
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42148) - you deserved it (73292)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by beyondembarrassed - United States

Today, as a condominium security guard, I had to enter an old lady's apartment to supervise the mandatory maintenance taking place inside. I commented on the lakeside view from her window and mentioned, "This is a pretty nice view up here isn't it?" It turns out that she's blind. FML

#20642213
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49510) - you deserved it (6741)

On 05/05/2013 at 12:28am - work - by rent-a-cop (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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