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Jessj958

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Jessj958

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 16 September 1984 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1139
  • Number of comments : 204
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Jessj958's page activity

Visits<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:47am<b>vats218</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 5:17am<b>JMichael</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 4:42pm<b>jellybeens</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:39am<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 3:54pm<b>bigruebs</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 11:40am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 4:29pm<b>zBLAKEz</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 7:16am<b>baseballx07</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 4:21pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 6:25pm<b>KushCrushin89</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 8:40pm<b>Infamous278</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 8:59pm<b>lotr4</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 12:46pm<b>cdawg69</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 1:09am<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 12:41am<b>bravesgirl55</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 12:39am<b>Rcmpbell</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 12:29am<b>ostfaiz</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 12:01am

Jessj958's FML badges

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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Jessj958's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to take my daughter home from school because she had been caught flashing the boys during class. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't an appropriate way to act or behave but she interrupted me, "Mom, you don't even understand." You're right. I don't. FML

#21146764
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44768) - you deserved it (6287)

On 05/20/2014 at 10:24pm - kids - by HouseWife - United States (Missouri)

Today, I told my 4-year-old neighbor that I'm pregnant. His response was to attack me with a stick "for swallowing a baby." Three people had to pull him off. FML

#21145558
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45670) - you deserved it (5284)

On 05/19/2014 at 8:00pm - kids - by Baby eater - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my in-laws moved in. FML

#21107985
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62061) - you deserved it (5710)

On 04/08/2014 at 9:42pm - misc - by Great (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

#21107421
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42746) - you deserved it (6244)

On 04/08/2014 at 3:56am - misc - by the long distance guy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML

#21104962
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43755) - you deserved it (7111)

On 04/05/2014 at 3:14am - intimacy - by armtits and big pits - United States (Florida)

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

#21104869
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43654) - you deserved it (3058)

On 04/05/2014 at 12:04am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML

#21104650
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38767) - you deserved it (11614)

On 04/04/2014 at 7:20pm - love - by ohai ur hawt, wanna fuzzzZzZZzzZzz (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark only to discover it was poo. After further investigation, I find out my younger sister had been wearing them and 'experimenting'. FML

#21104331
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41957) - you deserved it (4089)

On 04/04/2014 at 10:17am - kids - by AshleyP - United Kingdom

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend taking a dump in the litter box. He said he wanted to know what it felt like for the cat. FML

#20930986
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44365) - you deserved it (5333)

On 10/23/2013 at 12:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a lady stormed into the pharmacy I work at and chewed me out because the medicine I sold her the day before gave her horrible diarrhea as a "side effect". I checked, and it was the medicine she asked for - laxatives. FML

#20883379
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44572) - you deserved it (2314)

On 09/16/2013 at 1:35am - health - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read: "My mom's a total pedo." and after she mentioned the talk, her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML

#20840603
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50710) - you deserved it (5594)

On 08/16/2013 at 5:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

#20786268
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44237) - you deserved it (32369) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML

#20609608
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76228) - you deserved it (6960)

On 04/21/2013 at 6:20am - intimacy - by loving wife - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

#20607466
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49225) - you deserved it (6435)

On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand



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