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Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42059) - you deserved it (3840)
On 05/13/2013 at 12:29am - animals - by JamiesMom (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60706) - you deserved it (5639)
On 04/21/2013 at 6:20am - intimacy - by loving wife - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42890) - you deserved it (5430)
On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand
Today, I was on hold with the cable company for an hour. When I finally got someone, I walked into the kitchen to where it was quiet and slid across the floor, falling on my butt and losing my connection on the phone. My 2-year-old son had sprayed the floor with nonstick cooking spray. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37543) - you deserved it (4966)
On 04/18/2013 at 7:26am - kids - by cowgirl927 - United States
Today, after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back, borrowing $60 from her, and being just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning, she sends a very large man to my door to collect, like she's Tony Soprano. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39185) - you deserved it (3956)
On 04/18/2013 at 12:01am - money - by some people's parents - United States (Colorado)
Today, I had to explain to a woman why she wasn't allowed to squeeze all the contents of the sample lotion bottle into her own bottle. She threw a fit, and dumped the whole bottle on my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37219) - you deserved it (3122)
On 04/18/2013 at 12:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, after my shift at the hospital ended, I happened to look into a full-length mirror. My new scrubs turned out to be see-through. Instead of my undies, everyone got a good look at my cellulite-ridden ass. Fan-fucking-tastic day to wear a thong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31655) - you deserved it (14864)
On 04/10/2013 at 1:41pm - work - by birdiebeth13 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, the power was out. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch any TV until the power came back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32354) - you deserved it (4366)
Today, I was working the night shift at the hotel. One of my tasks is to clean out the pool robot. While trying to pull it up, I got pulled in. I had to hide naked in the laundry room for an hour while I put my uniform through the dryer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27164) - you deserved it (2577)
On 04/08/2013 at 12:56pm - work - by soakedga - United States (Georgia)
Today, my 16-year-old son convinced my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to use the ladies bathroom at the shopping centre, because she wasn't wearing a dress like the girl on the sign. He told her girls in pants always used the other one. She believed him. This is my legacy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34926) - you deserved it (4505)
On 04/08/2013 at 12:26am - kids - by badparent (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29562) - you deserved it (6071)
On 04/07/2013 at 9:47pm - health - by poopy pants - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives. Pretty much everyone expressed the belief that I'm screwed for life, with my grandma commenting later: "She ain't even got the tits for porn. God help her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37548) - you deserved it (2749)
On 04/06/2013 at 3:41pm - work - by flea-bitten (woman) - United States
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40268) - you deserved it (8087)
On 04/06/2013 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by dating walter white's gf apparently (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25048) - you deserved it (1702)
On 04/06/2013 at 1:06pm - misc - by yeah why not (woman) - Norway
Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46222) - you deserved it (3239)
On 04/06/2013 at 10:15am - intimacy - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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