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JessieMongoose

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JessieMongoose
  • Town/Country : Everywhere and nowhere, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1016
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About JessieMongoose : .ebyaM .looc adnik ma I dna ,meG si eman yM

JessieMongoose's last visitors

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JessieMongoose's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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JessieMongoose's favorite FMLs

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8733) - you deserved it (67996)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I was napping. I woke up to my pillow making some sounds. Thinking it was my head shifting my pillow, I went back to sleep. Later on I woke up to the sounds again, and a mouse staring at my face. FML

#18070183
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26429) - you deserved it (2912)

On 10/25/2011 at 3:17am - animals - by pinkjade - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I could actually feel my toe hairs flapping in the breeze. I'm a girl. FML

#17926318
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21847) - you deserved it (15170)

On 10/07/2011 at 6:35am - misc - by Hairytoes - United States

Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML

#17839150
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27371) - you deserved it (13572)

On 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Yuuucky (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that my parents used all of the college money I have been saving up for 8 years to buy a beach house. The reason they waited until now to tell me? A tree fell on it, and they need more money for repairs. FML

#17726207
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32137) - you deserved it (1840)

On 09/12/2011 at 3:36am - money - by Me - United States

Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML

#17641775
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24260) - you deserved it (2709)

On 09/02/2011 at 2:54am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31997) - you deserved it (4152)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML

#17547922
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30976) - you deserved it (3003)

On 08/22/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by Say Cheese - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46563) - you deserved it (2413)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

#17129735
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30395) - you deserved it (15311)

On 07/16/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by McKenna - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband decided he needs to be thanked after every time he changes our daughter's diaper; if not he throws a temper tantrum. Now I have two babies to deal with. FML

#17051248
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32727) - you deserved it (4886)

On 07/10/2011 at 8:49am - love - by Mary - United States

Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML

#17048924
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30536) - you deserved it (3031)

On 07/10/2011 at 2:03am - misc - by ugly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

#17044811
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34952) - you deserved it (4836)

On 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm - money - by Lame (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was supposed to have a double date. My date didn't show. I spent my day in the living room waiting for the pizza guy while my best friend and her boyfriend made out. The pizza guy never showed either. FML

#17036855
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30476) - you deserved it (2483)

On 07/09/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by supergingerr11 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my daughter asked why there was an X marked on a telephone pole. I told her they were going to remove it. She started crying and saying, "They can't kill the tree!" She is 16. FML

#17036042
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27275) - you deserved it (6531)

On 07/09/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by anon - Australia (Victoria)



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