JessieMongoose

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JessieMongoose

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2019
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About JessieMongoose : .ebyaM .looc adnik ma I dna ,meG si eman yM

JessieMongoose's page activity

Visits<b>CaseyOfAsgard</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 9:48pm<b>tinytitan98</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 2:32pm<b>thisguy184</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 3:44pm<b>CptObvious98</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 12:33am<b>dianafuentes</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 4:29pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 10:31pm<b>schoolgirlFML</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 11:49pm<b>malheartsnutmeg</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 3:13pm<b>Doritozilla</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 1:35am<b>CholoChino</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 12:45pm<b>randomburger</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 11:45am<b>the_fat_rob</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 10:08am<b>Lil_ND800</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 5:50pm<b>xopher425</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 10:12am<b>MichiSixx</b> - the 12/19/2012 at 6:39am<b>A83</b> - the 05/02/2012 at 5:38pm<b>NamelessNeko</b> - the 03/30/2012 at 2:27pm<b>enjoooy</b> - the 07/17/2011 at 10:09am

JessieMongoose's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of JessieMongoose's badges

JessieMongoose's favorite FMLs

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML

by Acolyte of the Bacon God / 02/15/2013 at 2:50pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find a pregnancy test in my trashcan. I live alone with my boyfriend and I'm not pregnant. FML

by melas303 / 12/29/2012 at 7:22pm / United States / Love

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

by radioinvader / 10/28/2012 at 8:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML

by L / 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy

Today, I'm found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I spoke at length about how we were going to handle things, which included him "forbidding" me from having an epidural, because he doesn't want our baby to "come out addicted to drugs." FML

by CalyenaL / 05/12/2012 at 9:35pm / Mexico (Baja California) / Health

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

by Optimus_Prime97 / 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm / United States / Money

Today, I went on a picnic with my boyfriend's family. I thought it would be nice to wear my sundress and cowgirl boots. The wind repeatedly picked up my dress in front of everyone, including my boyfriend's seedy grandpa, who I have to admit can do a pretty good wolf-whistle. FML

by EyeSeeYou / 05/02/2012 at 2:34pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2012 at 5:46pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a concert, I got into a fight with a man in a banana suit. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2012 at 5:45am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

by Baustigt / 04/10/2012 at 6:48am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

by mrricecakes / 03/23/2012 at 1:55am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I overheard a girl and a guy sitting behind me on the bus who were talking about Skyrim, one of my favourite games. After a while, I turned around and, as a fellow gamer, thanked them for restoring my faith in humanity. They went very quiet. I'm now that weird guy on the bus. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2012 at 2:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML

by parkertownparadise / 02/16/2012 at 2:43am / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, my dad killed my pet rats. They were playing on the sofa, and he thought they were vermin. This would have been understandable if the reason he came over wasn't to meet them, and they hadn't been wearing bright pink walking harnesses. FML

by Anonymous / 02/03/2012 at 3:12am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Miscellaneous