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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33187) - you deserved it (4132)
On 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by squirrels69ing (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me. Ten minutes after, he called me asking how to change his relationship status on facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31977) - you deserved it (2162)
On 05/20/2011 at 1:46am - love - by BALEIGHLOVE17 -
Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25859) - you deserved it (14618)
On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I'm the coach of a football team. To celebrate winning a game, they poured a cooler of blue Gatorade over my head. This would've been great, if not for the fact that I'm highly allergic to blue food dye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27742) - you deserved it (2091)
On 05/19/2011 at 7:32pm - health - by blue. -
Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8475) - you deserved it (44992)
On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -
Today, after fifth block, I decided to go for a little walk. Apparently so did my boyfriend and best friend. I found them together under the stairs with her head in his crotch. She said she was looking for her contacts. His pants were pulled down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45026) - you deserved it (3055)
On 05/18/2011 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by levi69 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, we got a new dry-erase board, and I drew the Gotham City skyline complete with the Bat Signal. Later, I went downstairs, only to find my mom had written "BATMAN’S GAY" over the top of the picture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20264) - you deserved it (7316)
On 05/18/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51255) - you deserved it (3115)
On 05/18/2011 at 3:57am - intimacy - by Jackedup (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I drove the width of the country to tell the girl I've lost that I'm in love with her. She wasn't home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30505) - you deserved it (8204)
On 05/17/2011 at 10:36pm - love - by unrequited (man) - United States
Today, I took a final for my law class. As I was taking the test, I noticed the girl on my left copying off me. I wrote all the wrong answers on my sheet while writing the correct answers on my desk hoping she would copy the wrong answers down. I forgot to write the correct answers on my test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13964) - you deserved it (45586)
On 05/17/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by markymark - United States
Today, I posted my status on Facebook as "slightly hungover." My grandma commented on it with "liar, you were helping me clean last night." She's right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9744) - you deserved it (45802)
On 05/17/2011 at 12:15pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29707) - you deserved it (7725)
On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -
Today, I updated my facebook status as "lost all contacts, need numbers". My mom commented saying "her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends". Her comment got 32 likes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36273) - you deserved it (5750)
On 05/17/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by Username -
Today, I gave a girl answers to a test. She said she would give me something pleasurable in return. She gave me a Twinkie, saying, "I know how much fat people love twinkies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20176) - you deserved it (24264)
On 05/16/2011 at 3:34pm - misc - by pyroman1127 - United States (Utah)
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52017) - you deserved it (7167)
On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)
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