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Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" and then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9868) - you totally deserved it (61768)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - misc - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23088) - you totally deserved it (54950)
On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went to use a public bathroom with my friend. I heard someone, who I thought was my friend talking, and I replied with "I hate being on my rag, I get constipated a lot." When I opened the stall door, I saw two guys using the urinals. I went into the men's restroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9167) - you totally deserved it (29781)
On 03/06/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by MNLucyy - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (385014) - you totally deserved it (67449)
On 02/27/2009 at 2:52pm - intimacy - by jgondi1 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
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