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About JessiOath : I love F***MyLife. and Spencer Chamberlain.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (175253) - you deserved it (9034)
On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I left the sliding glass door to our townhouse open because it was such a beautiful day. Our new puppy, whom we have been potty training, peed in the yard and I praised him relentlessly. He then walked inside the house, pooped on the carpet, and ran back outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36175) - you deserved it (5017)
On 05/03/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by lalibear (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my 6 year old granddaughter was sitting on my lap playing with the rings on my fingers. After a moment, she pointed to a gold ring with many jewels and said, "When you die can I have that one?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (48854) - you deserved it (2735)
On 05/03/2009 at 12:16am - kids - by itswhateverr (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I forgot my inhaler. I had an asthma attack and had to go to the ER. The doctors told me it wasn't an asthma attack. It was just a panic attack from worrying about whether I would get an asthma attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49935) - you deserved it (12695)
On 05/01/2009 at 5:07pm - health - by jlover42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I woke up with the worst cold, ever. My nose was running like crazy and my eyes were all puffy. So I stumbled over to the medicine cabinet and took what I thought were three tylenol cold's. Two hours later I'm still sick and I can't leave the bathroom. They were laxatives. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32700) - you deserved it (17631)
On 04/30/2009 at 9:40pm - health - by fuckmyliiiiiiife (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my family threw me a surprise party. I was so surprised I punched my mom in the face when she screamed SURPRISE! FML
I agree, your life sucks (46828) - you deserved it (14782)
On 04/30/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by Em (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I came home from work and went to open the door. I Iooked in the window and saw a man in my house. Terrified, I called the police. They came, searched the house, and found nothing missing. I went back inside and looked through the window and saw him again. It was my reflection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8466) - you deserved it (55773)
On 04/29/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my house got broken into. My brand new laptop was stolen, along with my flatscreen TV, digital camera, external hard drive and some clothes. Wanting to drown my sorrows in the Ben & Jerry's Phish Food ice cream in the freezer, I opened the door to find that it too had been stolen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (130918) - you deserved it (7421)
On 04/28/2009 at 6:13pm - money - by Sad (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I bought a box of Fruit Loops. When I got home, I noticed a free prize would be in the box. I sifted through the box, looking for the small toy. It wasn't in there. I don't know what is more sad, the fact that I got ripped off by a children's cereal or that I'm 21 and upset by it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40410) - you deserved it (9989)
On 04/26/2009 at 10:29pm - misc - by ahhnotoy (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, was my graduation from a prestigious university. In two days I start working at a hot dog stand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52656) - you deserved it (12017)
On 04/25/2009 at 2:39am - work - by CollegeGrad (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36896) - you deserved it (14694)
On 04/24/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by bdutton (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44927) - you deserved it (7620)
On 04/23/2009 at 6:45am - misc - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my shower is being renovated so I decided to wash my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal on accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57240) - you deserved it (18711)
On 04/21/2009 at 8:12pm - kids - by hairball (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9613) - you deserved it (49547)
On 04/21/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by Chelsea (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (94855) - you deserved it (8973)
On 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm - health - by Litterbox (woman) - United States (Texas)
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