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JesseN

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JesseN

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 July 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1655
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, my band went to play a set 4 the first time. I'm the drummer. All was going well, and then before our first song I threw the sticks in the air, went to catch them, and one hit me right in the eye. I couldn't continue playing. Now I have to wear an eyepatch. FML

#2560457
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13224) - you deserved it (53522)

On 06/03/2009 at 6:06am - work - by failedmusician (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, 3 of the 4 stall were occupied in the rest room. I took the 4th stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I hear "Hey, how's it going?". I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. real FML

#1487277
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53310) - you deserved it (10573)

On 04/30/2009 at 10:55am - work - by RckRagman (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

yesterday I cummd home from work and went to open the door. I Iookd in the window and saw a man in my house. Terrifid , I calld the police. They came , searchd the house , and found nothing missing. I went back inside and lookd through the window and saw him again. It was my reflection. FML

#1467567
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11121) - you deserved it (73460)

On 04/29/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today... I was pulld over by a police officer fir speeding. After writing the ticket... he askd me why I was wearing a surgical mask. I told him that swine flu was found in our area and I was scard. He thought that I was insulting him and wrote me another ticket. FML

#1383069
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71764) - you deserved it (15615)

On 04/27/2009 at 2:24am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, mah husband and I were talking about names 4 our expectant child. I told him since I named our daughter he could name our son. He's decided on a name from 'God of War'. My son is going to be named after a make-believe cartoon character - Kratos. FML

#1182028
653 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51747) - you deserved it (30014)

On 04/21/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today , I locked mah keys in mah car. After spending 20 minutes on the phone with AAA , and then waiting a half hour , the guy showed up , he stuck his hand in the drivers side window and asked , ( You couldn't just reach in? ) I forgot I left the window open. FML

#1054531
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10605) - you deserved it (99279)

On 04/17/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by .... (woman) - United States (New York)

2day cops showd up at my apartment demanding to look inside . Satisfid with the search , they told me they had receivd a noise complaint . More specifically , hearing screams someone believd a grl was getting rapd . I had two friends over and we had been wrestling . The three of us are male . FML

#966967
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70898) - you deserved it (25428)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Obee (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was selling cookie doug 4 a fund raiser at an old folks ome. One lady orderd a box and told me tat se lovd cookie doug. I told er it'd be ere in 4 weeks, se said ( O I can't wait! ). Not really tinking, as I left I said, ( I ope you can make it till ten! ). FML

#891660
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10477) - you deserved it (61649)

On 04/09/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by phatkroger10 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today , I Was Packing My Son's Lunch And We Ran Out Of Water Bottles. I Askd My 16 Years Old To Run To The Store. She Didnt Want To But Gave Me One She Had. After Dropping My Son Off , My Daughter Frantically Told Me She Made A Mistake. I Sent My Second Grader To School With A Bottle Of Vodka. FML

#644123
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84269) - you deserved it (16747)

On 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by badmom (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, mah boyfriend came over fir dinner, but couldn't eat cuz he had just gotten his tongue pierced. My grandpa heard this, winked at mah boyfriend and said "Can't eat now, but I bet that's all you'll be doing in a few weeks..." My super protective father was sitting right next to him. FML

#572670
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80182) - you deserved it (8955)

On 03/24/2009 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

today my 11 yaar old brothar walkad in on ma sitting on my boyfriand's ass an giving him a back massaga!! Ha tiltad his haad a littla an than said "Aran't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't ha supposad to ba on top?" My boyfriand laughad an gava him a high-fiva!! FML

#560138
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101080) - you deserved it (31136)

On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was sitting in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in there cars and I never do anything risky so I thought,hy not, I'll be here ahile, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through I hear a tap on mah driver's window. Its a police officer. big fat FML

#192974
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29739) - you deserved it (139120)

On 03/03/2009 at 1:29am - intimacy - by imanidiot (man) - United States (Ohio)



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