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JesseN

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JesseN
  • Town/Country : Bryant , United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 July 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 749
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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JesseN's favorite FMLs

Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML

#13167367
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11056) - you deserved it (42621)

On 09/23/2010 at 7:01am - misc - by nackpattywhackgiveadogabone (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was getting picked up by my dad after I had been swimming. I saw his car, so I walked over to it, got in and started talking about how I'd seen my brother. It wasn't until after I had put my seat belt on that I realized I was talking to a complete stranger. FML

#13097397
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15932) - you deserved it (22825)

On 09/18/2010 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, we were in the car with my puppy, who favours my sister. She had been sat on her lap for a while, when she stood up and climbed onto my lap. I was really pleased until she peed on me and then went straight back to my sister. FML

#13082882
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28091) - you deserved it (2860)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by PuppyPeeTimee. - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex for the first time when my 4 year old sister walked in. She thought we were making a dog pile, so just as soon as my boyfriend was about to finish, she jumped on his back. FML

#12948197
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22094) - you deserved it (20102)

On 09/07/2010 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML

#12626936
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7473) - you deserved it (59881)

On 08/19/2010 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by captainocd - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in the checkout line at Foodmax around 11:30pm. Three girls behind me were buying Tequila, salt and some limes. I was buying frozen pizza and some toilet paper. They were going to an awesome party. I was going home to eat pizza by myself. FML

#12385494
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25394) - you deserved it (7354)

On 08/08/2010 at 3:14am - misc - by joe (man) - United States (California)

Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML

#10707989
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16248) - you deserved it (24225)

On 05/23/2010 at 5:21am - misc - by Oops (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

#7084392
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23151) - you deserved it (3134)

On 01/01/2010 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by Lovergirl (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

#6937557
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29024) - you deserved it (6667)

On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I stepped outside for a smoke. It was 1 a.m. Thinking no one was around, I let out a series of loud, nasty-sounding farts. I looked over to my left to see the neighbor, whom I've never met, also smoking, and staring at me. That was his first impression of me. FML

#6915702
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8290) - you deserved it (27416)

On 12/24/2009 at 2:00am - misc - by FlGirl (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that when an officer screams, "DON'T MOVE OR I'LL TASE YOU", it really means, "If you so much as flinch I'm going to shoot and 50,000 volts will be directed through your nose and groin." FML

#6785905
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20978) - you deserved it (9810)

On 12/16/2009 at 11:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my family and I were decorating the Christmas tree. It seemed a bit unstable, but we decorated it without any problems. Later, while my daughter sat by the tree, it began to fall. Her grandmother stopped the tree from hitting her. I, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl. I'm a 38 year old guy. FML

#6763164
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6479) - you deserved it (26475)

On 12/15/2009 at 10:06am - misc - by wjones (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally finished vacuuming my downstairs. Instead of finding the wall outlet and unplugging the vacuum, I triumphantly tugged the cord from across the room to release the plug from the wall. It flew at me at top speed and hit me in the face. FML

#6723813
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5266) - you deserved it (33140)

On 12/12/2009 at 3:36pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

#6298765
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16746) - you deserved it (29759)

On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I spent the night with my guy, whom I hadn't seen in ages. In the middle of sex, he answered his phone, told me to be quiet, talked to the girl on the other end about how boring his day was, then left the room to finish talking to her. When he came back he asked if I felt like swallowing. FML

#6078276
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21726) - you deserved it (3887)

On 10/31/2009 at 12:31am - intimacy - by dtmfa (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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