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JesseN

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JesseN

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 July 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1342
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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JesseN's page activity

Visits<b>sexaaydino</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 1:24pm<b>badluckdawson</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 4:28am<b>Faith13</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 3:13pm<b>Scro</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 10:22am<b>MonsterBunnie</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 3:15am

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JesseN's favorite FMLs

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

#19214836
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21572) - you deserved it (27243)

On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

#19124149
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26314) - you deserved it (4059)

On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML

#18852472
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7901) - you deserved it (46209)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I dropped my 7-year-old son off at school. He decided to have fun and step out of my car screaming "Stranger danger" while running away and pointing at me. I then had to get out of my car to shut the door he'd left wide open. This caused 20 other kids to scream "Stranger danger" as well. FML

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22742) - you deserved it (7206)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)

Today, as part of my job as a performer, I had to show off my skills with a switchblade in front of an audience. A kid shot a rubber band at me. I then needed stitches. FML

#18501912
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27165) - you deserved it (2713)

On 12/13/2011 at 9:00am - work - by Anonymous - Malaysia

Today, as I was running from the cops I jumped behind a bush to hide. Turns out it was a massive thorn bush. I later had the most painful shower I have ever experienced. FML

#18431842
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7929) - you deserved it (65698)

On 12/04/2011 at 10:22pm - misc - by Jess - United States (California)

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34378) - you deserved it (6026)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, meeting his family for the first time. I was leaning against him when he reached around, grabbed my boobs, and started making "pew-pew" laser noises, all in front of his family. I can't believe I'm dating this child. FML

#18159889
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34891) - you deserved it (14232)

On 11/04/2011 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by Sidney (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44949) - you deserved it (5041)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

#17742835
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31706) - you deserved it (5190)

On 09/14/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by funnymanjoe - United States (Illinois)

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

#17668852
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28116) - you deserved it (4244)

On 09/05/2011 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML

#17610443
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36973) - you deserved it (3371)

On 08/29/2011 at 4:33am - health - by SoupCanoe - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML

#17606704
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30652) - you deserved it (8698)

On 08/28/2011 at 5:25pm - kids - by cjay2200 - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML

#17530831
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23418) - you deserved it (4939)

On 08/20/2011 at 5:36pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Solihull)



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