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JessGivsBesitos

Offline (the 03/26/2015 at 4:43am) | Search for a member

JessGivsBesitos

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 December 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 417
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About JessGivsBesitos : heyy names jess and ya thats all u need to kn... >=D

JessGivsBesitos's page activity

Visits<b>Bladius</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 2:21pm<b>biasedshooter</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:30am<b>jesseb97</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 12:45am<b>Matt_a_tat_tat</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 10:58pm<b>whatsupitsbrian</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 1:29pm<b>XxCatalyst</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 1:07am<b>IceMan11</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 9:56am<b>MONTOYA412</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 10:13pm<b>DemonicLemon</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 11:35pm<b>daveMathews48</b> - the 08/31/2011 at 1:48am<b>kingghidorah</b> - the 08/04/2011 at 4:35pm<b>MrSousa10</b> - the 07/30/2011 at 10:41am

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JessGivsBesitos's favorite FMLs

Today.. . I came home and found that my home had been robbed . The worst part? One of the thieve took a dump looool in my toilet and didn't flush . It doesn't even look human . FML

#21184110
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45611) - you deserved it (3531)

On 06/22/2014 at 11:10am - misc - by paywithpoop - United States

TODAY,HILE IN THE YARD, MAH 18-MONTH-OLD SON DECIDED TO TAKE OFF RUNNING INTO THE ROAD,HERE A CAR WAS DRIVING. I RUSHED AFTER HIM, ONLY 4 ONE OF MAH DRESS STRAP TO SUDDENLY BREAK WITHOUT WARNING. IT MUST HAVE LOOKED LIKE I WAS TRYING TO FLAG DOWN THE DRIVER WITH MAH FLAILING TIT. FML

#21183414
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42292) - you deserved it (5634)

On 06/21/2014 at 7:14pm - misc - by icandothecancan - United States (Oklahoma)

Yesterday, I got it by a car wile walking into te ospital to visit ma wife, wo ad also gotten it by a car. real FML

#21182903
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57083) - you deserved it (4384)

On 06/21/2014 at 8:50am - health - by anon - United States (New Jersey)

Today , I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears tat I got drunk enoug last nigt tat instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution , I usd moutwas. FML

#21181415
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41202) - you deserved it (22242)

On 06/20/2014 at 1:06am - misc - by anon - United States (Missouri)

Today, I Became The Town Racist Fir Saying "black" Instead Of "African-American". I'm Black. FML

#21179835
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55699) - you deserved it (5159)

On 06/18/2014 at 9:14pm - misc - by guest - United States (California)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus . I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone ranghile he was showering an he slipped onto a box of vegetables . Guessho had to extract the carrot . FML

#21179512
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52531) - you deserved it (4616)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

2DAY I FEEL MASSIVELY DEPRESSD, BUT I CAN'T TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT IT AS I'M BRITIS . FML

#21177849
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35778) - you deserved it (10063)

On 06/17/2014 at 8:26am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my car keys r in my house and my house keys r in my car, and I'm in neither . FML

#20943997
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48058) - you deserved it (8627)

On 11/03/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by Argh (man) - France (Poitou-Charentes)

Today, mah dog got out of the house. I was running after him and remembered the old ( pretend you're hurt ) trick. I got on the ground, and cried out as if I was hurt. My dog just kept running. FML

TODAY, MY BAST FRIAND WANT IN FIR HAR SCHADULD MAMMOGRAM, AND I SANT HAR A TAXT SAYING, "HOW'RA YOUR BOOBIAS?" IT WAS ONLY AFTAR I SANT IT THAT I RAALIZD I'D SANT IT TO MY HISTORY PROFASSOR.

#20930198
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40074) - you deserved it (11926)

On 10/22/2013 at 12:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was muggd in a public bathroom. All I had on me was a plastic sheriff's badge, so I gave it to them. They laughd me out of the restroom. fat FML

#20928153
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35337) - you deserved it (3582)

On 10/20/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by the_lameo_geek (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, My Boyfriend An I Were Furniture Shopping!! They Had Miniature Versions Built Of Some Of The Desks!! He Commented How They Were "cute Fir Little Kids" To Use!! They Were 6 Inches Tall!! I Had To Explain To Him That They Were Only Models, Not Real Desks!! I'm Dating Zoolander!! FML

#20782878
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37119) - you deserved it (4728)

On 07/14/2013 at 9:07pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was sanding intimata picturas to mah girlfriand and accidantally sant ona to mah bast friand. Ha sant ma ona back. FML

#20690661
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56114) - you deserved it (32980)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Abrams52 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today , I accidentally hit a cyclist with car. In panic , I jumped out of car and ran up to him , who was lying on the floor , motionless. As I was about to check his pulse , he jumped up and shouted , ( I bet you thought I was dead , asshole! ) He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

#20688904
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50888) - you deserved it (23608)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:19am - misc - by i hit a cyclist (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

today I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onion 4 his dish he warned us to be ready 4 the ( typical reactions ). Everyone teared up. Meanwhile I popped a boner. So much 4 typical. FML

#20667353
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52052) - you deserved it (8943)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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