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JesMommy

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JesMommy

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  • Number of visits : 80
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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JesMommy's page activity

Visits<b>allforyoux3</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 12:56am

JesMommy's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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JesMommy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was renovating the house, and my girlfriend asked, "Do you use electrical tape on electrical stuff?" Not knowing where she was going with this, I just gave her a puzzled look. She continued by saying, "Because it's not like people use duct tape on ducks." FML

#20158312
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20343) - you deserved it (2821)

On 11/11/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Danny - United States (Utah)

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

#14330238
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28844) - you deserved it (3125)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55997) - you deserved it (12082)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47666) - you deserved it (3868)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML

#3078421
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59354) - you deserved it (25647)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by jinxofsocal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

#2796637
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78662) - you deserved it (22056)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML

#2209832
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48679) - you deserved it (20987)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by Tootsy_Roll_Pop (man) - United States

Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML

#2030761
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93343) - you deserved it (22319)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm - kids - by embarrassedmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

#726983
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96339) - you deserved it (9126)

On 03/31/2009 at 4:47pm - kids - by poo_shoe123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

#280211
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33144) - you deserved it (96595)

On 03/12/2009 at 8:07am - health - by lolzor (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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