What don't Kill you Makes you more strong
Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46152) - you totally deserved it (8228)
On 05/29/2009 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by FMLFMLFMLFML (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while babysitting, I gave the boy a pen & paper because he wanted to draw me. When he was done, he let me see but then said "Wait!! I'm not done." He took it back and basically colored in the arms. I said, "I'm not wearing long-sleeves." He said, "That's hair." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34430) - you totally deserved it (4842)
On 05/10/2009 at 9:18am - kids - by thesitter (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55487) - you totally deserved it (7798)
On 05/10/2009 at 8:44am - misc - by Jopes (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I sent everyone a text on my phone book saying, "Happy Star Wars Day!!! May the Fourth be with you!!" I forgot to uncheck my exgirlfriend's number. She texted back, "one of the many reasons I broke up with you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16571) - you totally deserved it (44910)
On 05/04/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by 1suckatL1fe - United States (Virginia)
Today, my grandpa told me he can still get aroused even though he is 84. Im 32 and have erectile dysfunction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45299) - you totally deserved it (2025)
On 05/02/2009 at 11:47pm - misc - by fuckerman - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had an ultrasound in fear of testicular cancer. I apparently signed papers allowing an intern to do it for practice. She was in her early 20s and smoking hot so as she was rubbing jelly on my testes I got an erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54953) - you totally deserved it (16836)
On 05/01/2009 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by erectioninfection (man) - United States
Today, I was walking downstairs to the subway. At the top of the stairs this hobo was peeing. Two seconds before, I told my friend I felt rain. It wasn't rain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43426) - you totally deserved it (1721)
On 05/01/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by DudeManBro69 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42242) - you totally deserved it (18076)
On 04/29/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by hyper12332 (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I got a haircut. Right after the lady finished washing my hair she grabbed a towel to wipe her nose. She then proceeded to use the same towel to thoroughly dry my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54754) - you totally deserved it (2579)
On 04/29/2009 at 5:40am - health - by Mars (woman) - United States (California)
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