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JennyK1414's FML badges
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JennyK1414's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 1:24am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, someone in my class wrote "Erase me if you can!" at the very top of the board, as I am always tormented about how short I am compared to everyone else. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't reach it. I'm the teacher. FML
by Petitprof / 11/12/2010 at 1:23pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was the first day of astronomy class and we all waited for the professor to enter the classroom. All of a sudden, someone turns the lights off, it's pitch black, and we hear the professor saying, "Greetings earthlings..." It's going to be a long semester. FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2010 at 2:04am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by feartheend511 / 08/19/2010 at 11:48am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by BathroomMuch / 12/25/2009 at 11:15am / United States (California) / Kids
by Cornbreesha / 11/28/2009 at 2:13am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was home alone, and decided to do some naked cleaning just because I could. After half an hour of liberating nakie-dusting, I turn around to see my boyfriend and his best friend gaping at me open mouthed. His older brother however gave a creepy smile and the thumbs up. FML
by DusterOverBits / 09/23/2009 at 5:35am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the mall with my friend when I saw my boyfriend in Victoria's Secret - with another girl. They were joking and laughing, and I was really pissed off. So I stormed into the store and slapped him. He looked up at me with an angry and confused expression. It wasn't my boyfriend. FML
by Anonymous / 07/24/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up for it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML
by vomitingnow / 07/22/2009 at 12:12am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I got approached by a hot young lady in a bar. After joking around for a few minutes she said "hey I love your jacket, where'd you get that?". I then told her that it's actually a replica of the Indiana Jones jacket. This is when she remembered that she "had to go somewhere". FML
by cole / 04/24/2009 at 12:40pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, I was on a friends trampoline trying to convince my mom trampolines are safe and I should get one. While telling her I smashed my knee into my face. I jumped off bleeding, slipped, hit my head on the trampoline, and got knocked unconscious. FML
by Anonymous / 04/19/2009 at 5:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
Today, I was at a professional hockey game. I wasn't paying attention and a puck was shot into the stands and hit me in the face. My mouth was bleeding and I lost two teeth. As I was trying to cough up my teeth the old man next to me shoved me over and stole the puck. Everyone cheered. FML
by thisblows / 04/11/2009 at 4:42pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids
- Today, I’m on vacation in Japan. Hungry, I went to a restaurant. Looking at photos of the food, I… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that…