About JenL : I am Jen.
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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (14099) - you deserved it (66966)
On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (14099) - you deserved it (66966)
On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I overheard my parents in the kitchen talking about how they wanted to try anal tonight. There is over three and a half feet of snow outside, leaving me no way to escape the horrible sounds and mental images yet to come. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41529) - you deserved it (3024)
On 02/27/2011 at 4:42pm - intimacy - by Sam (woman) - United States (Wyoming)
Today, I threw up in the car. While driving. The good news though, I had a bag to catch it all. Bad news? The bag had a giant hole in the bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21617) - you deserved it (3025)
On 02/22/2011 at 10:55pm - health - by CarSick (woman) - United States
Today, I asked for permission to marry the girl I love. Her father not only said no, he said "HELL no!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24277) - you deserved it (3405)
On 02/22/2011 at 10:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38808) - you deserved it (10400)
On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had to walk three miles home from work. Both my parents were at home. The reason they wouldn't collect me is apparently because I've "gotten so fat, your grandma cried after she saw you". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15657) - you deserved it (19301)
On 01/07/2011 at 12:46am - health - by biscuit (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I lost my virginity, I think. Does it still count if she left halfway through, laughing? FML
I agree, your life sucks (41583) - you deserved it (7963)
On 01/03/2011 at 6:40am - intimacy - by Username -
Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever. My boyfriend came, looked at me writhing in pain, and said, "Well at least if it's a tapeworm you'll get skinnier." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26832) - you deserved it (2505)
On 12/19/2009 at 10:15am - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40260) - you deserved it (123772)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (89545) - you deserved it (14397)
On 04/30/2009 at 8:15am - intimacy - by soooyeah (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54166) - you deserved it (424734)
On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)
Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (322665) - you deserved it (28033)
On 03/21/2009 at 3:15am - intimacy - by jilted (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (471373) - you deserved it (585285)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Monday 17 June 2013
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