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Jelbeztok's favorite FMLs
by Aggie_De / 12/14/2013 at 7:00am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by MsConfusedd / 10/27/2013 at 12:11am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
by i hit a cyclist / 05/27/2013 at 7:19am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Transportation
Today, I helped an elderly woman carry her suitcase down a flight of stairs. When I got to the bottom, a man tackled me to the ground thinking I was stealing the woman's luggage. As I lay in pain, he ran up the stairs to return the suitcase and the poor woman had to carry it down on her own. FML
by gooddeedgonebad / 05/26/2013 at 5:19am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
by uglynerd / 05/25/2013 at 8:45pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML
by datgirl92 / 05/24/2013 at 10:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, after months of being pestered to do so, I finally read the first Harry Potter book. I hated it. Upon hearing this, my girlfriend posted the fact on Facebook, where I immediately received tons of abuse and eventual shunning by my friends, family, and coworkers. My girlfriend just laughed. FML
by obnum / 05/24/2013 at 8:26am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at a concert, I stepped into a restroom to use my nasal spray since my allergies were acting up. Apparently, someone thought that I had been snorting coke in the stall. I was escorted outside and had to wait for the cops until I could explain everything. I missed the headliner. FML
by Anonymous / 05/21/2013 at 7:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I lent a pair of expensive headphones to a "friend" for the weekend. As a thank-you, he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend, taking the headphones with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphones for a $1 soda. FML
by Anonymous / 05/19/2013 at 12:16am / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous
by Liferuinedforever / 05/14/2013 at 3:13am / Pakistan (Sindh) / Kids
by Baikal / 05/12/2013 at 12:09am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
Today, while at the supermarket, a complete stranger ran up to me, got down on his knee and confessed his love for me. He was obviously mentally unstable, so I gently declined. He started crying very loudly in front of everyone. I still don't have a clue who he was. FML
by o___O" / 05/10/2013 at 4:11pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Miscellaneous
by DemiRawrs / 05/01/2013 at 1:23pm / United States / Health
Today, after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back, borrowing $60 from her, and being just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning, she sends a very large man to my door to collect, like she's Tony Soprano. FML
by some people's parents / 04/18/2013 at 12:01am / United States (Colorado) / Money
by KatiRozz1 / 04/17/2013 at 1:40pm / United Kingdom (Middlesbrough) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and… Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved… Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic moment when I made a Star Wars reference. I don't…