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Jelani

Offline (the 08/24/2014 at 6:24am) | Search for a member

Jelani

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 October 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1682
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Jelani : I'm Jelani I'm currently a sophomore in highschool
Well that's about I'm hit me up on ps3 if u have one
Gamertag: Jelani15
Main games: MW2, Black ops, NBA 2k11, Naruto storm 2

Jelani's page activity

Visits<b>vtlaurn</b> - the 06/18/2012 at 9:26pm

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Jelani's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

#20051213
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27166) - you deserved it (15896)

On 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by jon (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned why one should never insert a tampon after squeezing lemons. FML

Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML

#19939596
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34135) - you deserved it (39548)

On 07/15/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by oops - United States

Today, my mom came over to me and whispered something in my ear. I didn't hear it and assumed it was a joke, so I started laughing. Turns out my aunt died. FML

#19939490
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10014) - you deserved it (24137)

On 07/15/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by RIP - United States

Today, I sneezed my jaw out of socket. Yes, this is possible. FML

#19899616
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29185) - you deserved it (1876)

On 07/06/2012 at 11:03am - misc - by hotpatata - United States

Today, I was brutally dumped over webcam, by my boyfriend, who was taking a dump with the laptop on his lap. FML

#19899263
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26109) - you deserved it (2484)

On 07/06/2012 at 6:51am - love - by Toilettrash (woman) - United States

Today, I was the maid of honor at my sister's wedding. I was the first one to walk down the aisle, where I managed to trip over a wire, shutting off the music and falling on my face. My family cheered and took pictures. FML

#19899247
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23318) - you deserved it (2923)

On 07/06/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was walking in Walmart with my dad. We walked past the deodorant aisle. My dad said, "Need any deodorant?" I said, "No thanks." He replied, "That was a hint." FML

#19898795
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9405) - you deserved it (28175)

On 07/06/2012 at 2:52am - misc - by CanadianTwin - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML

#19896420
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23576) - you deserved it (2288)

On 07/05/2012 at 6:15pm - misc - by Oh dear (woman) - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines (Saint George)

Today, I picked up my car from the repair shop, drove two miles, and ran out of gas. I then walked to get gas, put a gallon of gas in the car, and tried to start it. The battery was too weak to start the car, and died on the spot. FML

#19896001
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22721) - you deserved it (2203)

On 07/05/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by 303 - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me that because he works fifty hours a week, I should be meeting an arbitrary quota of fifty hours of housework, and if I don't, I'm insensitive and ungrateful. FML

#19895787
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20513) - you deserved it (9205)

On 07/05/2012 at 3:34pm - work - by lazy pregnant girl - United States

Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a diet coke?" FML

#19895683
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36205) - you deserved it (9031)

On 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to my drunk great grandfather peeing on my cat and thinking it was absolutely hysterical. This isn't the first time and he just moved in with me for the next six weeks. FML

#19894625
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19653) - you deserved it (1829)

On 07/05/2012 at 9:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, while taking the trash out, the old cranky elevator in my apartment complex finally gave up on life. For a long hour I was stuck between floors 4 and 5, practically embracing my bio-waste can. FML

Today, my brother thought it would be funny to pretend my tampons were "dynamite" and run around the house throwing them at my friends and family. FML

#19893089
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20330) - you deserved it (2133)

On 07/05/2012 at 12:01am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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