Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About Jazzywrites007 : Some of the Most Pathetic Things I've read on this site:
"Fags abd Dykes are Worse than hitler. go fucking dide dirt nasty fag hores"
"ydi. go die a fiery death for going to iraq an killing babies"
"u'd better start tryna sell that pussy on ebay, since fat bitchs can only get some online"
"I hate how you fucking niggers think you can date our white woman, stick with your own race jungle bunny"
I believe that FML Gives people balls because there is no way to contact them or even know who they are.
Anonymity makes people say and do stupid things to others.
Except for with me.
Cuz I Really Don't give a shit.
So whenever I say something you don't fancy (or even something you DO fancy), feel free to let me know about it.
Come leave me angry messages when you don't like my FML comments.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
Thursday 22 January 2015